I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, because I’m always looking around in my real life for men who inspire me. In a purely literary way, naturally. (In case my dh is reading this.) While I never use people from real life as heroes, I do pay attention to qualities that I find sexy on the assumption that other women will too. There are the obvious ones we can mostly all agree on, like Hugh Jackman. Quite apart from his amazing good looks (can that poor man EVER make a movie without baring his chest? I’ve pretty much worn out my DVD on the bit in Australia where he pours water over himself. Now that’s romance porn.)

hugh-jackman2

 But I also love the other things I know about him. He’s got a wicked sense of humor, is happily married to an older woman (you go, girl!) and he sings. Aaah.

Then there is the opposite end of the scale. My favorite yoga teacher at my studio is Will. He’s a young psych major who I’m pretty sure is gay, but I love the way he moves and how comfortable he is in his body. He also gave me some of the best writing advice ever. He often says when we’re in a difficult pose, ‘whatever is in your way, is the way.’ I’ve discovered this is very true of my characters and if I’m sort of stuck, I’ll look at where they are in life and what’s blocking their path. That’s the hurdle they have to overcome.

While looks and physique obviously attract us, it’s not enough in the end. Here are the top five attributes that really turn me on. I think these are in order…

1. Sense of humor. A man who can make me laugh can make me do pretty much anything.
2. Considerate (good manners). I hesitated between putting Intelligence in second place, but I actually think a man who can get through dinner without spending half of it on his cell phone, who is considerate of a woman and her feelings is powerfully sexy.

3. Intelligence. And it’s not just being smart, now, is it? It’s someone who is well read if not well educated, who knows where Machu Picchu is (extra marks if he’s actually been there.)

4. Good with his hands. And I do mean handy around the house. There’s just something about a man who can fix a sagging front step or knows why the car conked out on the side of the road that’s endearing.

5. Passionate. He loves what he does. Whether he’s a software engineer or an auto mechanic or a cowboy, he enjoys his work. He’s equally passionate about his sports and hobbies, and about his woman. (U) 

Well, those are my top five. At least they are today.

What are yours?

Nancy

17 Responses to “What makes a man sexy?”
  1. Integrity makes my list.

    And let’s HOPE Hugh Jackman doesn’t make a movie without baring his chest! (L)

  2. Anne Calhoun says:

    I’m with Heather. Integrity’s key. I’m also a huge fan of frugality. My husband loves finding deals and doing work himself just because it saves money. We just added about 30 inches of insulation the attic of our house for $300 because he did all the work AND found free insulation that was being removed from a house slated for demolition. We had to buy some, but not as much as if he hadn’t spent two evenings hauling rolls of insulation home.

    Some call it cheap. I call it hard-working and more money for shoes.

  3. Nancy,
    I’d pretty much have to go with your list. I agree on everything. And Heather and Anne also. Integrity and Frugality. I’m a spender and have been known to stretch the truth in a pinch if it’s to someone with whom I do NOT have a relationship–like a phone solicitor or my evil grandmother, but my husband won’t even lie to a door-to-door salesman! And he’s the save r in our family. Thank goodness for him.

  4. I have to say I agree with all of those! But the No. 1 is if he can make me laugh. :-)

  5. Patsy L Roberts says:

    (U) I have to say I pretty much agree with the list as well but If there could be a #6 I would add loyalty. You can never go wrong with a guy who once he meets you and the two of you start dating, he never looks at another, NOT even a glance.
    When I met my NOW husband we went out for coffee after we met in a bar which BTW we had both gone to to just have one beer and do a little Texas Two Step. He called me the next evening after I came home after work just to make sure I had made it home okay (It had been icy and snowing) and after our first REAL date he called me the next day to tell me that he wasn’t seeing anyone else nor would he as long as we were dating. (L)
    I appreciate this because I had been married to a man who loved to chase skirts and his ex wife had cheated on him as well. There is something to be said about a man (or woman) who never strays. We have been together for 18 years now and I have never been happier! (L)

  6. Nancy Warren Nancy Warren says:

    Hi ladies, thanks for all these great comments.

    Oh, yes, integrity is a great addition to the list. Frugality fascinated me. I wonder if it would have appeared on a ‘sexy’ list a couple of years ago before the recession? I agree, with you, btw, though I wonder how popular it would be to have a thrifty Blaze hero. I gave that quality to a heroine once and used it mostly in a humorous way. That was during the height of the Sex and the City, every girl in designer duds, times, and this gal loved to shop for bargains. Would tell people where they could have got the same thing for half the price. She was fun to write.

    Patsy, it sounds like you really got it right second time around. Congrats.

    Nancy

  7. Making me laugh is essential. (and the Hugh Jackman = no shirt goes without saying) But they say a sense of humor indicates intelligence. Loyalty is really sexy, imo, b/c it shows a level of commitment.

    Frugality is a good quality, (much easier to deal with than the opposite during tough times) but I don’t know that it’s exactly sexy.

    And definitely, a handy guy is a must! Something about a man strapping on a toolbelt that well…creates a little steam for me. (K)

    And Patsy…he sounds like a keeper!
    Bonnie

    • Patsy L Roberts says:

      Oh He is! Chris is 17 years my senior but in all the time I have known him it never really mattered. I think that is because he was exactly what I was looking for in a man. Sexy, intrllegent and a self confidence , that frankly I was lacking after my divorce. He gave THAT back to me in spades. What more can a girl ask for than a man who desires her and finds her more interesting than any other?!? (Y)

  8. Petro says:

    Hi Nancy !

    My List

    1. Sense of humor
    2. Self confident not arrogant
    3. Intelligence
    4. Considerate
    5. Passionate and I’m not talking about work around the house ;-)
    oh and a great smile, my dh next to me, says nice shoulders and biceps LOL :-D !

  9. Lori Borrill says:

    I think you covered it well. I could only add hard-working–especially the farmer/cowboy types who don’t get their muscles from a gym. Yummy!

  10. limecello says:

    Great post, Nancy – a number of mine are also on your list. A sens of humor, intelligence, passion, and then also capability/competance. I want a hero that can handle any and every situation. Maybe not by himself or personally, but he can take care of it. And also, honesty. I need to know I can always trust him/that the hero is trustworthy.

  11. Nancy Warren Nancy Warren says:

    Hi Limecello! That’s a good point that he can get things done and not always by himself. He knows how to delegate, maybe even *cough* ask for directions. LOL Lori on not getting the muscles from a gym. Yeah. Petro, I like your confidence vs arrogant addition to the list. I definitely agree that confidence is a turn on, while arrogance is the opposite. And oddly, I usually see arrogance as a form of insecurity while confidence suggests a man who knows himself and respects who he is. Bonnie, I’m with you, I do think a sense of humor shows a person is intelligent. Anne, nice going on the roof. He is a keeper. I am married to the least handy man on the planet. Fortunately he has other qualities ;-) Jillian I had to laugh at your dh and not lying to door to door salesmen. Wow, that’s an honest man. Oh, and Petro, your dh clearly meets our criteria of sense of humor ;-)

    Nancy

  12. Tina says:

    Hey Nancy

    I agree with 4 out of 5 of yours. I don’t care if the man isn’t handy – I think that is something that is coming back into fashion again because of the recession, and its a nice way to be ‘frugal’ rather than cheap, if you can do-it-yourself type of thing.

    So scratch handy on my list and put – capable. Sexy to me is still the man who is the power player, the wool suit, the silk tie, the man who can still move on the world players market, and be totally comfee in those large Italian leather shoes of his. One who knows how to pick up his own darn telephone and call that plumber to fix your broken toilet! And he can pay the bill when the plumber is done. :-D

    Thanks for a great blog topic.

    Bye 4 now
    Tina

  13. Tina says:

    Hey Nancy

    I agree with 4 out of 5 of yours. I don’t care if the man isn’t handy – I think that is something that is coming back into fashion again because of the recession, and its a nice way to be ‘frugal’ rather than cheap, if you can do-it-yourself type of thing.

    So scratch handy on my list and put – capable. Sexy to me is still the man who is the power player, the wool suit, the silk tie, the man who can still move on the world players market, and be totally comfee in those large Italian leather shoes of his. One who knows how to pick up his own darn telephone and call that plumber to fix your broken toilet! And he can pay the bill when the plumber is done. :-D

    Thanks for a great blog topic.

    Bye 4 now
    Tina

    • Nancy Warren Nancy Warren says:

      LOL. Good point, Tina. I guess somebody who picks up the phone and gets an expert in is a thousand times better than that ‘home handyman’ who puts up crooked walls and never bangs a nail in straight.

      My father, who for some reason fancies himself good with electricity once ‘fixed’ a light in the bathroom. My mother then wallpapered the bathroom and as she hung the wet paper kept getting electric shocks!!

      Nancy

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