My Not-So Love Affair With The Tooth Fairy
Posted by Jill Monroe in Jill Monroe, tags: Tooth Fairy
I double checked with our wonderful Blaze blog administrators to verify that we could basically blog about whatever we wanted, and the answer was yes. So pardon me, but I decided to get something off my chest, particularly about the Tooth Fairy.
Quite frankly, I dislike her.
This is probably a dislike of my own making, but I’m owning and taking responsibilities for my feelings.
It all began when I decided to make the experience my kids would have with the Tooth Fairy educational.
First Mistake!
Like many, I’d collected a few coins of foreign countries, and since the Tooth Fairy goes ALL OVER the world to pick up teeth, sometimes she drops a strange coin while delivering her quarter per tooth. Yeah, it’s true, my kids get a quarter per tooth (they were 5, quarter = BIG money). So, they’d wake up and find their two pieces of $$ and then we’d go over to the globe, find the country where the money came from and have one big educational moment, right?
Second Mistake!
Each child has 20 baby teeth, and I have two kids. That makes 40 coins from different countries I needed to find. Every year, I’d put out a request from my Romance Writer’s of America friends to bring me their extra foreign money. If it weren’t for those annual conferences, I’d be in a lot of trouble. Thanks, ladies!
At some point around the first grade, I decided that I needed to be just a little more educational, and encourage writing to the oldest. This would be in the form of writing letters to the Tooth Fairy.
Third Mistake!
What I didn’t realize was that the Tooth Fairy would have to WRITE BACK. Apparantly, children write QUESTIONS to the Tooth Fairy, not interesting facts about themselves, so mom would have a shortcut in documenting her children as they grew. Many, many questions. And I’ll just admit it here – I’ll never be a Childrens writer, because coming up with answers is tough with the right amount of whimsy is tough. Google is not always so helpful, and there’s not a lot of call for rhyming skills in a Harlequin Blaze.
So, if you could help me out, and if your kids ask you questions about the Tooth Fairy, perhaps, and this only for consistency’s sake, you could use the same answers I’ve come up with. I’ve put together a little Tooth Fairy FAQ.
How do you know when a child loses a tooth?
A small tickle forms along the back of the Tooth Fairy’s neck, and the tickle grows stronger as she nears the fallen tooth AND sleeping child.
Are you married?
No, because she works nights, and most male fairies work during the day. This was completely illogical to someone who is 7, by the way.
How do you get inside my house?
This secret is only given to children who have lost their last tooth, and who the Tooth Fairy knows will never share the secret. Here is is:
!od seiriaf tahw s’that dna yriaf a m’I
What’s your house like?
The Tooth Fairy’s home is made of pinecones and her bed is soft dandelion petals blown in on the wind (there had to be a reason for that plant!).
Where do you put the teeth?
On a pink cloud behind a rainbow (an instance when google was helpful).
Do you have a sister?
Yes, her name is Lull and she helps young babies go to sleep by whispering gently into their ears. All babies understand what she says.
What do you eat?
The Tooth Fairy does prefer the petals of daisies and carnations and drinks the dew of blades of grass first thing in the morning (which is actually her bedtime.) She takes the dew with a kiss.
Do you like Harry Potter?
Yes, but I only get to read it one page at a time as children leave their books open.
Do you have a pet?
Yes, the tooth fairy has a beetle. She has two, one is a boy and the other a girl. She also has a fish, but there are just so many, she can’t list all their names. By the way, the answer to this question changed from child to child, but no one seemed to notice. Whew!
Do you collect the teeth of dogs, cats, etc.?
No, but the Tooth Fairy suspects there is another fairy who picks these up, she’s just never met him or her.
May I have some fairy dust?
The answer is “Of Course!” Fairy Dust is comprised of iridescent glitter and gold glitter. By the way, my youngest is absolutely convinced she witnessed the oldest levitate off the ground just a bit after using the fairy dust.
I have lots and lots and lots of stories about our adventures with the Tooth Fairy – like the time youngest lost a tooth while mom was at an RWA conference and dad had to write the letter and provide the Fairy Dust. Or how the kids decided to “test” the Tooth Fairy and not mention to mom or dad they’d lost a tooth.
Anyway, there’s my sad tale, and just to make this an educational moment, you might want to reconsider doing any of the things I’ve done.
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What great answers to the questions!
My husband used to have to answer the letters and questions left for Santa Claus when my youngest was little. She was in HEAVEN when she would get up Christmas morning and find a note from Ol SC! LOL She never suspected a thing! She is now almost 20 and tells me that those are some of her favorite memories! Oh and the the same thing was repeated with The Easter Bunny!
I wouldn’t change a thing that we did. The oldest is nine years older than my youngest and was very good about playing along even when she got a little older.
BTW when the kids were little we told them that Santa would come see them as long as they wanted him to. Keep in mind my youngest is almost 20, Santa comes to see her still! He only brings her CDs and jewelry and such but he is still there! NO she doesn’t still believe but that is the beauty of the memory!
SMILES ;o)
Patsy
I love that he still comes. I’ve told my girls something similar…as long as you believe…
My mom did this too. When I had my first daughter, I had to call mom and say, you know… Christmas is in a few weeks. Lets just clarify things, okay? I do the same with my kids. The youngest totally believes, the oldest strongly encourages her to keep the faith
You are WAYYYYY more creative than I ever was. I was more of there, slide a buck under the pillow mindset. Very fun!
And probably enjoyed your evening WAY more than I did. You wouldn’t believe the kind of late night running around when I realized the iridescent glitter, although very pretty, did not show up well on the paper.
I think I missed out as a kid. All I would do in the morning is wake up excited and look for my dime. Back in the seventies a dime could buy a couple pieces of candy!
And to think I could have made it tougher on my folks and wrote a letter.
Marcie – my kid came home from school one day, with the kind of outrage only a 2nd grader can have, that people at her school were getting a dollar.
Jill,
I am so glad to hear that the tooth fairy at your house only leaves a quarter. That’s what my children got and they were convinced that the tooth fairy had her favorites because other kids got lots of money and even presents.
I am in awe. BTW, if the tooth fairy forgets, you can always play the “The quarter must have slipped out from under your pillow. Let’s look around the floor . . . here it is!” game. And then you have to come up with a reason to explain why the tooth fairy didn’t take the tooth.
The tooth pouch was full, works well! LOL
My daughter had a tooth pulled at the dentist when she was 6 and they failed to give it to her and she worried that the tooth fairy wouldn’t give her the money for it. Her dad told her that it is the sct of losing the tooth that earns you the money sometimes and he was sure that the tooth fairy would probably go to the dentist’s office to retrieve the tooth.
She was satisfied!
Those answers were awesome and would make an excellent children’s story.
I’d tell my girls they’d buried the tooth too far under their pillow and the tooth faerie couldn’t find it. Those were the times they thought they’d test the tooth faerie and/or me and not mention they’d lost a tooth. They were convinced I had a telepathic line to the faerie.
My problem was, my in-laws would get so excited, they’d tell the girls the tooth faerie told them to give each girl $5 every time they lost a tooth! One time, the grups were in Florida for the winter and the oldest lost a tooth. I resented having to fork over that $5!
My girls fell for almost anything though. The youngest believed in Santa until she was 12. She just refused to hear any different.
So THAT’S where the 5 buck tradition began. I need to talk to them right away
OMG Theo so did my youngest! LOL She had an inkling about the truth but wasn’t sure until someone at school said something then we sat down and talked about it.
As far as the tooth thing goes….my kids had tooth fairy pillows…They were made by my aunt and are fancy little heart shaped pillows with lace (very girly) and they each have a small pocket on the front to hold the tooth and usually has their name monogrammed on the front or has a saying like tooth fairy pillow. It also has a ribbon on the top so that it could hang from their bedpost or on a door knob.
Funny!
I remembered when my sister was a kid (I’m 9 years older) and my mum came up with the idea of a smaill snail that gave her presents and organized scavenger hunts throughout the house.
I’d played to be Banyoli, that was its name, quite a lot of times. And when she found out she was absolutely amazed we had come to create a unique character only for her. She stills remembers it and tells us we are best family ever. That’s why I love her so much :).
I’ve tried to do something similar to my daugher but she’s so smart, she found out so early and I can’t play any more even though she still asks for her present when a tooth falls out or during Easter, Epiphany and Christmas, of course!
I love this story, Anna!
Thanks Jill this was very interesting I loved it.
Penney
That is so awesome! I’m sure that even if it was a pain in the neck, your kids will have really fond memories of how much effort you went through for them.
Awesome answers to those questions, by the way! (Kids think of the most random things to ask!)
What a great lot of fun! We didn’t think up anything creative for the tooth fairy. (and yes, my children felt ripped off when other kids got more $$)
But one year, my older daughter let the dog out on Christmas morning and found that Santa had lost a long swatch of red velvet with 4 jingle bells on it. We decided it must have fallen off his sleigh while he was on the roof. It had come to rest on the back fence, and if she hadn’t let the dog out for Mommy she might have missed it!
Bonnie
I LOVE this story, Bonnie.
Sometimes we’ll give shredded wheat cereal to the kids to leave for the reindeer. They spread it on the grass. All you have to do later is step on it later and they’ll think it’s been eaten.
When I was little my parents or grandparents put money under the pillow. I really like what you did, it’s so creative. I would have never thought of it.
At Christmas when my brother and I were little my dad wrote us a letter from Santa which I still have. One time he put sleigh marks and foot prints on the porch in the snow to make it look like Santa was there. Some of my fondest memories as a kid.
Wow, I suck. Of course, you’re talking to the person who FORGOT to fill the kid’s Christmas stocking one year. (Talk about some quick Xmas morning footwork THAT year.) Going to those lengths for the Tooth Fairy would be way out of my league.
I am a scrapbooker and memento saver, though. I’ve documented my only son’s life thoroughly, and the Tooth Fairy posed the problem of how I save his first tooth for his scrap book without screwing him out of his money. I had to come up with an elaborate story about the Tooth Fairy leaving the first tooth behind because they know mom’s want them, but paying anyway.
Don’t feel like a failure! I was out at 1am Easter morning trying to fill baskets for my girls. I couldn’t believe I’d forgotten them!
You are not alone.
Not suck – smart!
You didn’t start anything that grew completely out of hand.
LOL, no. But my hubby and I single-handedly blew all the holiday beliefs because we’re such horrible liars. I literally have myself ON VIDEO following the kid around while he’s searching for easter eggs, saying, “Wow, he’s finding these fast. I’LL HAVE TO HIDE THEM BETTER NEXT YEAR.”
Santa was blown when the electric scooter “he’d brought” broke on Christmas morning, and hubby went into a fit yelling “Where’s the receipt? I’m taking the piece of crap back to the store I BOUGHT IT AT first thing tomorrow.”
Poor kid never had a chance.
LOL Lori – love that creative way of keeping the tooth! I’m a scrapper too, so I know how vital those things can be.
OMG Jill, this is such a fun post! I love the creativity you put into the entire experience. We’ve done the “the tooth fairies database must be backed up” or the “computer went down and didn’t notify her that you’d lost your tooth” angle in emergencies. My kids are so computer dependent, they didn’t even blink.
The most memorable tooth fairy moment I have was losing a tooth when I was out of town and worrying how the tooth fairy would find me since I wasn’t at home. I was advised to save it and put it under my pillow when I got home.
When I didn’t know what the tooth fairy did with the teeth she collected my son who at the time was seven said, “I know she recycles them and gives them to the babies in heaven before they are born.”
Love this Jill!!
I was a terrible tooth fairy, as my kids reminded me about a week ago. I’d always forget, then try to sneak the money in the morning while they were getting ready, pretending they just hadn’t “checked” well enough.
LOL this is too cute. the lengths mothers and fathers go to make growing up a special experience for the children. I love christmas morning with our 5 yr old, he;s so excited and happy. We just have to remember to get up earlier so were not walking aorund video taping him in our underwear (Well at least daddy!)
I remember grwoing up every christmas was so much fun, my little sister was ten years older than me so i would help mom play santa every year. We’d go to my grandmother’s every christmas eve as a family and open presents there, and when we’d get home we’d open our presents at home. (Nope we never could wait till christmas morning!) My mother would blcok a path so my sister couldnt get in the house first, i would beat her into the house, shove the cookies into my mouth, chew, sign santa’s thank you note and set her special present from santa under the tree, chugging the milk so i wouldnt choke on three dry cookies just as she walked in the door.
She screamed and had a ball every year, i loved it!
jody
oops!
LOL Jill!!! My worst mistake was for the Tooth Fairy to fall asleep and forget to visit! My daughter would cry and say ‘why didn’t the tooth fairy visit me?’
(a sobbing icon is needed here). Or worse, they waking up when the Tooth Fairy was doing the ‘exchange’. Now why didn’t I have this FAQ when they were young? Now they traumatized from me all these years. So in this FAQ, these two questions are needed answers for:
1. Why did you forget to visit me?
2. Why was my mom taking my tooth?
Okay, Caffey – how do these sound?
Why did you forget to visit me?
I don’t think I can top the throwing of the change in some obscure place answer – well done, ladies!
Why was my mom taking my tooth?
Moms are silly creatures. I bet she wants you to clean your room, too! Well, that’s what she’s doing – cleaning your tooth.
I know it was a lot of work for you to do this, but this is a great memory or your kids!
When I lost my first tooth, my mom asked me what I wanted the tooth fairy to give me for my tooth. Apparently, you get to make a special request for your first tooth. I asked for a squirt gun, which I wanted to be green except I didn’t tell my mom I wanted it to be green. She said she’d pass along the message and you know what? The squirt gun was green.
Way cool! 
lol that is just TOO CUTE, Jill! Ah kids – they’re… quite observant and curious just when you don’t really want them to be. The different coins was very clever and educational – haha, though I imagine, as you said, difficult. I’ll keep this list for when/if I ever have kids – thanks!
Well this tooth fairy tends to forget. I’m such a terrible fairy. My husband is usually the one that does it and since he’s not here for a year its all me and my forgetfulness.
We do the letters from Santa and thankfully my kids still writes big and only leaves a small amount of room on the paper for me to write back.
I loved your fairy secret though.
Can’t breathe I’m laughing so hard. And what do you mean there isn’t a tooth fairy?
Can’t breathe I’m laughing so hard. And what do you mean there isn’t a tooth fairy? Oh, and is it gross that I just found a small box of baby teeth in my desks, and that my kids are almost adults? Snort.