Voices in My Head
Posted by Joanne Rock in Joanne Rock, tags: Add new tag, chaka, characters, cheech and chong, dialogue, Joanne Rock, people watching
There was a time when my husband made me feel a little self-conscious about my people watching. While I’m more of a quiet observer of life’s dramas, my husband tends to be a main character with a big, noisy role on the center stage. When he occasionally pulls me into the spotlight, I find it hard to shake off the observer role and 
just BE. Sometimes I can’t help but look around and wonder what other people think as he sweeps me off my feet while window shopping at the mall or pulls our family into an impromptu conga line, or bellows a hip-hop song with the melodic cadence of a fifties love tune in the middle of a crowded street. If he catches me peering around at other people during these times, my husband asks, “What do you care what other people think?”
For awhile, I questioned if I was indeed too self-conscious. But with time and the wisdom age brings, I have learned that my caring what other people think is a core foundation of what makes me a writer. In fact, it’s one of the keenest skills I bring to the table. Because I’m not just wondering what other people think when my husband uses his Cheech and Chong accent at the McDonald’s drive thru in San Juan. 
I’m speculating about other peoples’ thoughts all the time. When I see an older couple arguing in a restaurant about something mundane—say, a disagreement about where the waitress said she hails from—I’m building a lifetime full of conflicts in my head. Within a few minutes, I’m seeing this little argument in the context of bigger issues that have been threading through their relationship from day one. Because we all know what the waitress said isn’t what their arguing about. They’re arguing about the fact he doesn’t listen. Or that she’s a know-it-all. Or both. Or vice versa.
Surely their argument is none of my business. But a lifetime of discreet nosiness has served me well. I’m sensitive to what other people think and feel. I can read body language from a hundred paces. And that’s a useful skill when I’m pulling together a character out of thin air. I’m so used to imagining scripts for people that I can churn up dialogue for fictional characters with ease.
Of course, sometimes I do take this interest too far. And it’s not while I’m writing the internal monologue for what a small child thinks of my husband as he lopes around the playground doing his Cha-Ka 
imitation from Land of the Lost. It’s when I’m tuned into Animal Planet, watching the guy tiger stalk the lady tiger. In my head, I can hear her telling him to back off. She’s got a litany of complaints a mile long about what she’s had to do that day to feed the young and hunt tricky antelope while the male has slept for eighteen hours straight. She’s in no mood for his antics and tells him so with a growl that would have scared off anything else in the animal kingdom… 
But when I start penning lines for tigresses, I know I’ve gone too far. Clearly, that’s the time to turn off my dialogue writer for the night and just BE.
***So am I the only one who thinks public eavesdropping is every bit as entertaining as reality TV? And are you more of an observer of life like me or do you enjoy hopping into that spotlight on a regular basis? I’m giving away a signed copy of my February Blaze, SHE THINKS HER EX IS SEXY, to a random poster.***
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wow, I never thought about it as relating to my writing, (hopefully that’s because I’m newer to this writing thing) but I’ve always people watched and speculated on their backstories in my head while I did. {robably giving them more dramatic histories and motivations than they actually had. I called it being empathetic or trying to put myself in their shoes, but I can see now how that would be great training for writing fictional characters. Thank you, Joanne, for helping me get to know myself better. And, btw, your husband sounds like a whole lot of fun and a great guy.
Thank you, Jillian! He is dang entertaining, I’ll say that!
(C) I sit and watch people as well. While I don’t listen and most of the time don’t hear their conversations, I do watch how they interact with one another. The wink of an eye, the touch of her hand on his sleeve or maybe the way he gazes at her over dinner when he thinks she isn’t watching. These are the tell-tell signs of the true relationship.
I watch fathers as they interact with their kids and mothers who watch their husbands as they attempt these tasks, that they themselves do everyday with ease, but with love in her eyes and admiration for his attempts at being a dad his kids can one day say “My dad was always there for me when I was a kid.”
I think it is human nature to be an observer and as a wanna be writer, I find I observe more than perhaps my Daughters (Both grown) and husband would be. Well not the older daughter she is a writer and reporter.
What is wrong with watching the human dynamic in full play? I happen to think it makes you a better writer if you understand how people intersct with one another. So I say “Keep watching, just know when to turn it off” Like when the tigers are at it on Animal Planet! LOL
Patsy, one of my sons is an astute observer. Oddly, he’s also the most apt to be a bit of a performer, so he ended up with an interesting mix of my husband and me. But this son never fails to notice a new hair cut or a new sweater and takes the time to say I look nice. And he’s been that way since kindergarten. He’d come home and tell me who had a new lunchbox and what kind of car his new teacher drove. Of course, sometimes he’s too busy looking at the family photos on the teacher’s desk to listen to what the teacher’s saying… but that’s another story.
I thought it was just me! And thank you for “It’s one of the keenest skills I bring to the table.” I’ll be using that. (Y)
Heather, I have to tell you I was sweating trying to write this post after I read about Squash Sex. I mean, how does one top your gardening adventures??? I’ve been meaning to send your post to my dad the farmer. I just know he’ll enjoy it.
I like to sit and watch people. When I’m in a restaurant I love listening to other people’s conversations. Plus it cracks me up when people talk on their cell phones in a store. It’s like they are inviting me to listen in!
I’d say I’m more a watcher, than listener…and my family forever complains that I analyze everything to the nth degree. Like family dynamics when I spot disagreements w/little children…or between siblings.
Then I wonder, who *doesn’t* wonder about family dynamics? Who *doesn’t* want to know *why* that kid ran away from home…or moved back in with an ex…or whatever. It’s the why of decisions that fascinates me.
Great post and interesting topic! Joanne, your husbands sounds like a lot of fun…and must make for interesting watching…
Bonnie
I definitely am more the observer than the person on center stage. Nowadays I think you hear more than ever since so many people seem to have no problem having personal conversations on their cell phones. If you’re stuck in a long line you can’t help but be aware of what they’re saying.
I’m a big lover of public eavesdropping! I especially love to listen to cellphone conversations and just imagine what the other person is saying. It’s truly amazing what private topics people will talk about in public with no shame!
You do see some interesting things when you sit still and watch what is going on around you… My sister and I used to sit and watch people have conversations and pretend we knew what they were saying… we would come up with little stories about the people we noticed. (*)
Colleen, this was my entertaintment in the high school lunchroom. When all else failed for conversational topics, why not fill in the blanks for what they were saying across the room at another table? Teens are so wonderfully emotive that there was never a lack for potential storylines.
I love to sit and observe people and I do a lot of public eavesdropping. And I agree with Beth…people on cell phones are just inviting you to listen in on their side of the conversation!!
Sometimes it’s fun to watch and listen and then make up stories about what’s going on. I’m more of an observer. I avoid the spotlight!
Joanne, like you, I’m a shameless eavesdropper. I often annoy my companions by blurting out comments about the people I’m eavesdropping on, when the person I’m with isn’t eavesdropping and therefore has no idea what I’m talking about. So then I have to explain to them what’s going on at the next table, which might make me miss out on further listening-in. If anyone ever accuses me of being rude for listening to other people’s conversations, I tell them I’m doing book research.
I’ve even sat in cafes and typed up documents filled with snippets of the bizarre things people around me are saying. In the right setting, it’s great fun. I don’t think any of it has served as direct inspiration for a story or character, but someday it might.
Oh, forgot to say, I do admit I’m being rude when I tune out the person I’m with because the people at the next table are talking about something more interesting. :-O I’m trying to break myself of this habit.
I am more of an observer of life and I love eavesdropping on people who talk loud enough to be heard in public places. I often wonder if some of the people are really aware of how loud they are and that they are being observed and eavesdropped on.
Oh, I am a SHAMELESS eavesdropper. You just never know when someone’s going to say something so funny or rude or interesting or painful. This morning, for example, I was writing in a local coffee house when a size 16 woman in a size 8 tank top came in. She was using a cane and her sandals had bizarre springs under the heels. After she ascertained that this was just a coffee shop, not a full service restaurant, the conversation on her cell phone went like this:
“Hello? Did you know La Java doesn’t have eggs?”
Pause
“Sweet Jesus, yes! I need an egg!”
Pause
“Where’s the nearest Perkins or Village Inn.”
Pause
“Okay, but I came in, sat down, now I gotta get up and get going again. You owe me here.”
Pause.
“Okay, honey. Bye.”
Then she says to the cute little male barista: “I’m leaving. I just want you to know that I love you, I’m one with you, but no eggs. I’m just too innocent for coffee.” After sizing him up, she adds that she’s the psychic on the local public radio station and he should “double up on the condoms and be careful because someone’s targeting him and wanting to make him hers.”
Then she left.
I can’t make that stuff up. And my new morning greeting to the fam is “Sweet Jesus, I need an egg!”
Oh Anne, that’s priceless. Now there’s a bonafide character. I love big personalities (see blog post re: Cha-Ka immitating mate). So fun to watch. The quiet ones are a challenge to figure out. But the psychic in need of an egg? She could walk right into a book and take it over, no problem.
I am always highly amused at people’s conversations.
You can hear some interesting conversations when you do a little snooping in the coffee shop huh. that conversations was one-sided sure, but very priceless. I loved the bit about the psychic, (if she was a psychic why didnt she know there wasnt any eggs???)
sorry, my mind started running with that one, and that’s the fun part. Tkaing what you hear and running with it, your mind can come up with some fun stuff. And no, people dont care what they say in public on the cells anymore, even if children are around. there is no shame.
And i dont think i know any writers that don’t eavesdrop or write down snippets of conversations, or just interesting phrases. I have a lot of those just waiting for the right conversation in a book.
cool topic, and i think your hubby sounds like fun.
jody
Thanks, Jody! And I wish I was better about writing down phrases I hear or book ideas that come to mind… I forget things way too quickly. I had a great memory until my mid twenties. Right along the time those kids of mine started arriving. Then my sharp mind started back-pedaling and hasn’t stopped!! But using a notebook would help so much if I could just get in the habit.
I have always been a quiet observer. Don’t push me into the spotlight; I am perfectly content to watch others. One of my favorite places to “people watch” is when shopping. I like to get shopping done as soon as possible but my mom and four sisters seem to have mastered shopping from dawn to dusk. That leaves me sitting on a bench in the middle of the crowded shopping mall. If I am not reading a book I people watch. And I find it fun. Watching husbands reluctantly holding their wife’s bags, teens casually strolling with their moms while trying to appear as cool as possible, boyfriend and girlfriend holding hands and so wrapped up in each other that they hardly notice anyone else, preteen girls in groups giggling about boys, boys in groups hitching up their pants every few seconds, harried mothers with toddlers screaming for a desired toy, and grandmothers in tennis shoes getting their exercise by walking the mall. There are so many different people and it is fascinating to watch each and every one of them! People are so entertaining!
****The thread winner is Rebekah! ****I’ve sent her an email note, but Rebekah, all you need to do is email me at joanne@joannerock.com with a mailing address and I’ll get your book out to you asap!
That is great! Thanks!
Congrats Rebekah!!! (*)
I consider eavesdropping research, and I even tell other people to do it.
Through the years it’s given me some really wonderful dialogue and ideas for characters.