What makes a hero in fiction? Lots of things. We love our larger-than-life men, our warriors, our wounded heroes who need to be redeemed. We love the exotic and out-of-our-ordinary.
I had a conversation with a young woman the other day and she was out at a club with friends for a send off. A young man who’d love to have a special woman, was heading off for months in the Canadian Rockies to run a remote fishing camp. He wore a cowboy hat, though he’s not a cowboy and we live nowhere near an area with cowboys.
Now, cowboys are not this young woman’s ‘thing’, so she bit her tongue and off they all went. She was shocked at how many young women responded to the hat! “Hey, cowboy … love the hat!” while trailing their fingers down his chest. (He didn’t quite get the come-on *see earlier blog post about flirting…not all men get our signals)
Our discussion turned to men and what women find appealing. I voted for cowboy hats, because I’m city born and bred and Stetsons are exotic to me. Other women love uniforms. (Me, not so much . . . cops in the family.)
Another recent conversation revolved around a young woman’s new man. He took a good look at her car recently and declared it unsafe for her to drive. He fixed it. In her mid-twenties now, she’s never had that experience before. She confessed that no man she’s ever dated took care of her in that way. She LIKED it! Many oohs and aahs!
To me, that car-fixer is a real hero. A keeper. Thing is, that no matter what all the scientific theories are about attraction and opposites and choosing our mates, I believe women want to know that they and their offspring will be cared for. Now, if you’ve got a man who fixes things with your safety in mind . . . should something terrible happen to Mom, the knowledge is imprinted that children will be left in good hands. Their safety and survival will be guarded by such a man.
So that’s why when it comes to images and book covers, it’s so darned appealing to see an infant in a strong man’s arms. It speaks to a visceral need for a guarantee of survival.
How often in a Blaze do you see a hero take care of a heroine? Could be her safety…could be an injury…could be her finances…could be her sexual needs (we are writing Blazes, after all). These scenes help cement the idea that this couple will make it for the long haul.
In my first Blaze POSSESSING MORGAN, one of my hero’s biggest problems is that the heroine won’t let him take care of her. She’s always taken care of herself and she refuses to be charmed and/or cosseted. iI managed to find a way for him to take care of her, but it was tough
I’m curious about what scenes in Blazes indicate to you that this couple will move on to their happily ever after?
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Morning Bonnie.
I loved the observation on cowboys and cops. Of course, I decided not to choose in my upcoming book, Hard to Resist — I went with a cowboy cop in NYC. He has the hat, yes, and it’s quite the turn on.
I don’t have either cowboys or cops in the family so both are sexy to me (we do have several former members of the military, and my husband did work on a horse ranch for a while, and he owns a cowboy hat). LOL What is it about the uniform?
I do think a man who has the ability to nurture and care for others is absolutely imperative in a hero — my heroes often cook for their heroines, or do other things to show they care, in and out of bed. I think men cooking for you is way sexy, and a great way to show how they care.
Sam
Cooking! Of course! That’s why I’ve been married so long.
He cooks, does laundry and even knows where the vaccum’s on/off switch is.
And wow…cowboy in the city. That’s a great idea. Leave it to you to come up with such a winning combination.
Bonnie
Cowboys in the sense of hats and snakeskin boots have never really appealed to me for some reason. Men in uniform? Now that’s another story! I guess that’s probably because I live in the country and don’t see a lot of uniforms. I do love a hero in jeans and a t-shirt and steel-toed work boots, however, but that isn’t the point of this post, is it? LOL
Anyhow, regardless of the kind of hero, I love stories that end with him making the grandest of grand gestures. A ring is great, but doing so in front of his friends when it goes against his character? Yummy! Or when he risks other personal relationships to be with her? Mmm, mmm, mmm. THOSE are the kind of endings that tell me the couple will make it for the long haul. The ones that require the hero to be emotionally vulnerable for the world to see.
Sally
Yes! That’s another great emotional scene…the sacrifice! even if it is just male pride…giving it up for her is so sexy.
Bonnie
I love cowboys and cops too. And of course men in uniform.
In my Blaze my hero is a fighter pilot who can’t fly anymore, but he does cook for my heroine AND he takes care of her sick mom so she can study for college finals. And he helps find her mom when she wanders off (Alzheimers). I guess it was more a subconscious thing, but yes, when a man takes care of me (or my heroine) it IS sexy.
My hubby may not repair cars or vacuum, but he does cook, do dishes and is the best father to our kids I could ask for. Although I think my girls have him wrapped.
Girls and their dads are just special. Whenever my daughters visit they make sure to have dad time: just the two of them, which often includes lunch on dad’s dime.
Bonnie
I usually figure this couple will move on to their happily ever after when whichever one is resisting assistance, finally accepts help.
While I focused on heroes, your comment resonates deeply. (I)
A brilliant observation Chey. Thank you!
Bonnie
I was in downtown Seattle a few months ago when a guy walked by in a long, black leather duster. Oh, yeah, that works for me.
And I was waiting for a friend at the airport when a soldier walked by in his fatigues. I would guess he was 6’3, maybe taller, with wide shoulders and that rolling gate that just screamed competence and a “bring it on” attitude. Except that he was holding his little girl’s hand–she looked to about four, pink t-shirt and jeans, her hair in pigtails–as they passed. It brought tears to my eyes, it was so special.
Great topic, Bonnie!
Alexis
Oh yes! The duster…wowzers.
I’m sure you weren’t the only woman with tears in her eyes seeing the soldier with his daughter.
Thanks for stopping by,
Bonnie
Hey Bonnie!
I agree we all have our little things that make one man sexy and another not – which is great for identical twins… lol.
My hubby proved within hours of meeting that he found my dreams, interest and intelligence fascinating. We talked for three hours at a McDonalds then went somewhere else and talked for another three. Within two week he proved he worried about me. And the fact that when I met him he was in the Air Force… Yup he hit all my wants in a man. Well except he’s shorter than me and blond hair and blue eyed… But you can’t have everything.
Delilah, yup, my dh is shorter too…but he does have dark hair and blue eyes.
And I’ve told him time and again how fascinating I am.
Bonnie
Mmm, leather duster! Cowboys, meh (I live in TX & mostly their Rednecks around here.
) And, I’ve been the little girl – though it was a pixie hair cut not pig tails. So, there are very much warm fuzzies w/ the fatigues! I remember Daddy coming back from Vietnam. . . .
Anyway, I wanted to agree w/ you, Bonnie, about the help/support/caring aspect. For an example, at the end of Midnight Confessions when Faye hadn’t chosen b/w Mark & Liam, I was already pulling for Liam because he was her lawyer and was taking care of her – outside of the physical side. A hot lawyer who cares… (L)
See? cowboys aren’t out of your ordinary, so they’re not exotic or sexy to you.
I forgot about the tug of war between Mark and Liam! Oh, that was hard to decide for me. And you’re right, if I’d considered the whole caring aspect it would have been much simpler.
Bonnie
Mmm, leather duster! Yummy! Cowboys, meh, not so much. (I live in TX & they’re mostly Rednecks around here.
) And, I’ve BEEN the little girl at the airport – though it was a pixie hair cut not pig tails. I remember Daddy coming back from Vietnam. . . . So, there are very much warm fuzzies w/ the fatigues! He was and is my hero!
Anyway, I wanted to agree w/ you, Bonnie, about the safety/support/caring aspect of a hero. For an example, at the end of Midnight Confessions when Faye hadn’t chosen b/w Mark & Liam, I was already pulling for Liam because he was her lawyer and was taking care of her – outside of the physical side. A hot lawyer who cares… (L)
I love the grand gesture, particularly when the hero doesn’t realize he’s making a grand gesture.
The grand gesture always works for me too, but also a hero (cowboy, cop, whatevah) who “hunts alone”
who feels obligated to protect her, but finally realizes he needs her as much as she needs him… Yeah, that does it for me…
Really interesting post, Bonnie.
My father did trick riding in the rodeo and clowned for the bull riders. He wasn’t but 5′ tall (hey, he’d be 102 this year! They were shorter then) but to a little girl of four, he was quite the hero figure. When he put me in my first midget race car at six, that did it. I knew I’d have to have a man who would wear cowboy hats and boots, and still have a love of fast cars.
Though I grew into being a very independent woman, the minute I saw my 6’4″ hubby for the first time, I knew I’d marry him. Something about him just screamed that sensitive, nurturing, hey-if-you-wanna-be-independent-I-won’t-stop-you-but-I’ll-pick-you-up-when-you-fall attitude that my dad also had when I was young.
And I was right.
He’ll always be there for me and the girls. Always.
And the best thing; he loves boots and cowboy hats!
thanks Carrie! I like the loner hero too! But oddly often write the loner heroine.
Wow, great job your Dad had NM! What fun! Makes for interesting memories.
I’m off for a writing retreat tonight! YAY! I love brainstorming and plotting.
Take care everyone…I may be scarce in the next few days, but I’ll be back.
Bonnie
Love a guy who can cook, but maybe my ideal hero would do laundry. Seriously.