On television, they’ve had several shows that feature mystery authors (Castle, Murder She Wrote, and probably more that I’m more can’t remember), one that featured a horror author (Stark Raving Mad), , but they have never, ever had a comedy show that featured a romance author. Yeah, yeah, we had Romancing the Stone, but that was a movie, and honestly, it had nothing to do with the life of a romance author.
The truth is, the life of a romance author is must-see entertainment at it’s finest.
First of all, there’s the actual writing process. Now, I’m sure that every type of author has a process, but in romance, it’s different. Let’s say, you know, because we’re Blaze authors, you have to write a love scene. But you’re running on three hours of sleep, the kids are in the other room watching Drake and Josh, and you’re trying to create something that’s sultry and steamy, and full of hot, passion that is smoldering from your hero and heroine’s every look and touch. But then, “Mom! I can’t find my cup!” “What cup?” I ask, leaving my hero and heroine in mid-embrace, their lips a whisper apart. “My cup, you know, the Jewel Protector.” I stare at my son, trying to remember where I last saw the athletic supporter, and when I sit back down to resume typing, my hero and heroine are in such deep trouble, that it is no surprise that if I as an author can create passion from the dregs of domesticity and motherhood, then I am Blaze-Author, hear me roar.
And then, there’s the plotting sessions. I’m lucky to have friends who I call at three in the afternoon, sometimes three in the morning (they’re *really* good friends) and I have to explain that my heroine’s problems aren’t enough.
“What kind of problems?” asked JK, “Hold on. I’ll have a large venti, non-fat. Sweetie, what do you want?”
“Are you talking to me?”
“No. My daughter. Hold on. OK, what kind of problems?”
“Sexual problems. I don’t think it’s enough. I don’t think a bad boyfriend will do it.”
“What if they had a bad-breakup, or what if he dumped her at the prom, or what if he told her that she sucked in bed? Give me a second. Here’s a five. Oh, and can I have an extra cup?”
“It’s too cliché.”
“Probably. Sweetie, take the juice. Maybe it’s the hero? Maybe he has problems. Maybe he slept with his step-mother to make his father mad, and she was all slutty, and he has problems with an aggressive female.”
I think for a minute. “I could work with that. “
The list goes on, the research, the scouring the Cosmo, the perusing the latest in sexual adventures, the asking of the husband, “Can you put your hand there? Your leg, over there? Do you think….? Nah. This just isn’t right….”
When you write romance, you have to LOVE what you’re doing, because it is not easy to pull the cupid’s-wings out of everyday life. It’s not easy finding magic when there is none, and you’re being pulled in eighty directions. No, it’s not easy. But somehow, as authors, as wives, as girlfriends, as women, we’re expected to do it all the time. Creating love, magic, peace, where there should be none.
Must-see entertainment. Def.
If you have a fav romance out of nothing story, feel free to share, and uh, if it ends up in a book, I swear, I *swear* I didn’t mean to. ☺
|
13 Responses to “Must-Write Entertainment”
|
|
|
Cover Art Copyright @by Harlequin Enterprises Limited.
Cover art used by arrangement with Harlequin Enterprises Limited.
BLAZE, HARLEQUIN and the JOEY design are trademarks of Harlequin Enterprises Limited, used with permission.
Entries (RSS)
Hey Kathleen, I loved the blog for today…a comedy about a romance author would be very funny…I would definitely watch it…I love your writing style…you are so witty and clever with words…is that the same thing? I couldn’t imagine doing what you and some of my other fav Blaze authors do to write the types of romance novels you need to for this serious…It is hard to fathom how you guys come up with some of the ideas and scenarios that come up…you guys ROCK!!!!
I hope that you all have a wonderful day…
Peace and love,
Paula R.
Paula,
Such nice words. It’s good to know there’s readers out there like you. Have a great weekend and if you’re a US-er, have a great holiday!
Hey Kathleen.
Loved the post — I don’t think my writing day is anywhere near that entertaining, so they couldn’t make that TV show out of my average day, unless it included me talking to my dogs about how much writing “we” need to get done that day. 
I think you might have some basis for writing a script there, though, and maybe should give it a whirl.
Sam
Samantha, LOL about the dogs. Do they give you *the look* when you tell how much you need to get done and how you might be ignoring them during the day? I bet they know what it means when you’re on deadline. (O)
(C) My writing day is kinda scattered about all day here and there. I have a 19 year old daughter who lives in an apartment in the back that we built for her. Mainly because she wanted independence but because of her various disabilities she can’t truly live on her own. She is constantly in and out stopping to look over my shoulder at what I am writing or just plain standing and looking at me. When I ask her “What?” She always says “Oh, nothing. I’m just bored. Can we go and get a coke?” (She knows how to drive and even has a drivers license but has anxiety so bad she is afraid to drive.) Then there is my 83 year old grandmother, who BTW doesn’t drive. Thank God! Who never fails to call when I am hot and heavy into a love scene, breaking my concentration and the mood I was trying to establish, to ask If I can take her to “Wal Marts” Yes that is Wal Mart with an S. Oh and lets not forget my mother in law who BTW is 80. Yes my husband is 17 years older than I am. Anyway, she doesn’t drive either. She is completely blind in one eye and can’t see out of the other, as my husband puts it. She always needs a ride somewhere. Always at the worst possible writing moment.
It is such a glamorous life I lead! LOL
It just goes on and on! :-P I honestly don’t know how I ever make it through a Hot and Steamy love scene when the world around me demands that I do their bidding. LOL I don’t mind really! They need me and I am there for them because they were once there for me at some point so I just try to roll with the flow and take my spiral notebook with me and while I sit in the car as they run into Wal Marts or are in the doctors office I try to tune out what is going o n around me and write!
Oh, Patsy…..You are a good soul. The Wal Marts is a hoot! My one suggestion, do you have an ipod or MP3 player? Sometimes I stick the tunes on, and retreat back into the world, and it helps. And by the way, I’m sending you a virtual boa to sling around your neck. Nothing says glamor like pink feathers amid the Cheerios.
:-P Thanks! I always thought I looked fabulous in Pink feathers! LOL
When I am at home I put my itunes on shuffle and let it go! When I am in the car I listen to one of the cds I have made from the songs on my itunes. Right now I am hooked on the sound track to “Don Juan DeMarco” starring Johnny Depp. It is a really good sound track to listen to. Especially the first song “Have you ever really loved a woman” By Brian Adams!
I loved that song!!! I’ll have to search out the DJDM soundtrack.
That sound track puts me in the mood to write romance. I guess because I have seen the movie and I can see the scenes as I listen and write! LOL
Kathleen, just yesterday one of my sons was telling his cousins about the time I was two hours late picking him up from band practice because I was writing and forgot about him. Oh, please. It was only forty-five minutes.
LOL! Oh, you have an *exaggerator* son. Yes, I have one of those as well. Forty-five minutes? (D) I hope your ed realizes your devotion to the art of writing (H)
LOL. I can so relate!
Yes, we are our own heroines