It’s the Bomb
Posted by Heather MacAllister in Heather MacAllister, tags: autographings, book signings, RWA conference
Sometimes I’m too clever for my own good. I enjoy signing at RWA’s Literacy Autographing, which kicks off the annual conference. So do 400 or 500 other authors. Since we’re all packed into one room, space is at a premium. Therefore, we’re no longer allowed to have posters of our book covers or any vertical displays to lure readers to our spot. Some authors are so well known, they don’t need to do any luring. They sell out in fifteen minutes and head for the bar. The rest of us smile gamely and wait for our legions of fans to find us. Or legion of fans. Or even one fan.
I needed an attention getter. Around Valentine’s Day, I found a string of heart lights and got an idea. I would decorate my signing space with blinking lights. There aren’t any rules about blinking lights, probably because there isn’t any place to plug them in. Oh, but I’m married to an electrical engineer. “Can you design me a power supply that will fit in a flat-rate mailer and run this string of lights for three hours?” I asked him. And like magic, he produces a plastic case with a plug and a red on/off switch. There’s even a cooling fan inside along with a cord to recharge the battery. After mailing it to myself–in Washington, D.C.–I learn that the nifty case is actually a gun case. A gun case?!? “It was the right size,” he explains. I figure the US Mail will never let the thing through. Nevertheless, I pack the lights in my suitcase and head for the conference. After landing, I get to baggage claim and hear, “Continental passenger Heather MacAllister please report to the baggage service office.” I knew it couldn’t be good.
What happened was airport security had removed my suitcase from the plane prior to take off because my heart lights, wiring neatly arranged in the unopened box, resembled a bomb. I’m lucky they didn’t blow the suitcase up first and ask questions later. I could hardly wait to find out if my gun case made it to the hotel.
It actually did and so did my suitcase after Continental put it on the next flight out and rushed it to the hotel in time for the literacy signing. Here I am, blinking lights and all.
After all the drama, I’m curious–how do you feel about book signings?
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Hi!
That was a great story! MY story is similar.
Many moons ago, pre 9/11/01, I was visiting my sister with my family for our Christmas vacation. Their local drug store had shaving cream on special for a truly cheap price, and it was my husband’s favorite hard-to-find brand. I bought 20 bottles and packed them in my carry-on luggage so that they wouldn’t get tossed around by the baggage handlers, etc.
There was a long lineup at the airport when we were coming home. The rest of my family’s luggage was just fine. By the time it came to mine, though, there were problems. I was taken aside and the bag was opened. They explained about it being combustible and not allowed as a carry-on. It had to go onboard with my other luggage. What a hassle that was, as they’d already sent all of our luggage to the plane by that point. My husband was with the small children with MY ticket and they held the plane for me! It was truly embarrassing, but I managed to get all the shaving cream onto the plane (but not in my carry-on) — and — I’m pleased to report — it didn’t explode before getting home. It was a miracle, and I’ve never bought shaving cream again on vacation….
As for book signings, I live in a small town in Ontario, Canada. I’ve never seen a “big-name author” come for book signings here or any other small town in the area. We have local authors signing their books on occasion, but that’s it! I guess I’ll have to live vicariously through writers’ blogs instead!
Oops. I lied. When the kids were really young, Robert Munsch came to our school. It wasn’t quite the same, I bet!
Thanks for sharing! I’m glad your husband came through for you (as my daughter would say, “Sort of, not really!”). Sounds like something MY husband would do for me and wonder why all the hassle!
As an aside, along that vein, I bumped the top of my head and drew blood this past Monday night. I was all alone and called a neighbour, as I couldn’t find the origin of the blood in my matted hair. I phoned my husband 25 minutes away. After I reminded him of Natasha Richardson’s story and how it’s a lesson to all of us to not take head injuries for granted, etc., he had this response: “So how is the railing? Did you break it?” Husbands! (Oh yeah! He came home 2 hours later when he was supposed to come home, even though his work was finished previous to my phone call! Can you tell we’ve been married 28 years?)
BTW, the railing is fine but now moved down the steps 4″ where it belongs, and my head has survived….
Ouch, Laney. Our hubbys sound similar. I didn’t say how I discovered it was a gun case–right before I left, we were watching KNOWING and there’s a scene where Nicholas Cage pulls a case from beneath his bed. “Hey, that’s just like MY case!” I say as he opens it to reveal a gun. “There’s a gun in his,” I point out. “That’s because it’s a gun case. I got it at Academy.” Sheesh.
Heather, that story is hysterical!
I’ve only done two book signings. My first was the literacy signing in Dallas. First RWA ever. First sale. First Brenda meeting. First everything. If it weren’t for Marie Bostwick, who sat next to me and took me under her wing, I would have sat there frozen and mortified for three hours. I sold one book, but I tripled that sale at my next signing at a local Borders. I did that one only so that I could force Shannon Hollis to spend two hours sitting next to me, and I spent that time wisely, grilling her about everything Harlequin and Blaze. LOL
Love your lights! Makes me want to change my last name to MacAlborrill so we could sit together some year.
BTW, I just finished reading UNDRESSED and absolutely loved it. Favorite story: Unbridaled about the man who kindnaps the wrong (right) woman. (Bloggers, if you haven’t read this one, go get it!)
Thanks, Lori! I met you in Dallas–I have photographic proof! (P)
I didn’t know if you’d remember that. (I always underestimate my ability to make an impression LOL)
Heather — it sounds like you have a plot for another book based on your experience. By the way how did you get the lights and gun case home????
Hi Ellen! I mailed them home in a flat rate mailer. I’d brought an extra mailer for conference books and sent the lights home in that and the case in another. The case weighs over nine pounds and I knew I’d go over the limit if I tried to pack it.
Hilarious story! I love it…I wonder what security thought when they opened it up only to find a string of lights shaped like *hearts*. I’m sure they shook their heads.
I *love* booksignings, no matter where they are, or even how they happen. I’ve walked into bookstores and signed copies for people at the checkout.
I’ve had 3 people at one (yeah, we had more authors there than that) but one of those people held up a book of mine and said, plain as day, that my book was perfect! I didn’t know her, didn’t pay her, so it blew my mind.
I’ve signed books in a Starbucks attached to a store and had a mom & daughter buy one right then.
I don’t care where, how, how big or how little the signing is. I love them. Because no matter what, I’m talking to someone who loves books. And there’s nothing better than that. (K)
This sunshiney moment has been brought to you by me…LOL…clearly I’m having a good writing day.
I’m just glad I packed my clothes in those vacuum travel bags. (Y) on the writing day!
Wow, Heather. Very brave of you to board a plane with that contraption.
I’ve only ever done the literacy signing at RWA, so my perspective on book signings is skewed toward…well, toward understanding my tiny, insignificant place in the romance universe. I don’t particularly enjoy sitting there for three hours smiling stiffly while staring at people’s backsides.
Last year, I opted not to do the signing and enjoyed having the chance to find every author I wanted to say hi to but might not otherwise see, while they were all lined up in alphabetical order.
As a reader, I find meeting authors I’m a fan of a strange experience. Let’s be honest now, most of us writers are somewhat shy, awkward types, and we’re not nearly as socially dazzling as we are on the page. (H)
“my tiny, insignificant place in the romance universe”
That’s the thinking that got me into trouble!
I live in an area where there are really no author signings and very limited bookstores. I would love to meet some of my favorite authors and say thanks in person for writing books I love to read. Maybe some day.
Ha! I discovered how to edit and delete comments. Ellen, there are so many authors in Texas that readers become very ho-hum about signings. But a hint for when you do go to a signing–gushing is always appropriate!
I love signings and we’re lucky to have a very Romance-supportive Community Relations Manager at our local B&N. She does our signings up big time.
My favorite signing so far was this past June when I “forced” my extremely shy CP –who’s first Harlequin American came out last month–to do one tiny little booksigning. My book was out in May so I told her I’d sign with her so she wouldn’t be sitting there alone.
For the whole 2 hours, a steady stream of her friends and relatives came in and bought out every last book the CRM had ordered. She could have sold 10 more. She even had a dear friend fly in from CA and surprise her to celebrate the release of her first book! I didn’t sell one book. But I didn’t care, it was so fun watching her shine.
Jillian, you’re a sweetie! And, gee, why didn’t they buy your book? My friends/relatives used to buy from other authors who were signing.
Hello one more time!
I am so LOL re your comment, Heather: “But a hint for when you do go to a signing–gushing is always appropriate!” That is SOOOO good to know! If and when we ever have someone come to our neck of the woods for a book signing, I’m sure I’ll remember that (even though I forget what I made for supper last night).
I’m still LOL. Thanks for the laughs! Hope you’re having a great day too!
(H)
I was at the book signing (as the general public) and I remember those flashing lights. As far as eye catching gimicks go, those were probably the best ones I saw!
Whoo hoo!
I might wrap myself in them next time . . .
I’ve never been to a book signing, but I’m thinking of trying to go next year to RWA. My niece lives an hour away and she loves romance books too. Your story about the lights was hysterical.
Linda Henderson (L) (In honor of the lights)
I hope you and your niece do come. There is nothing like it. Baskets donated by the RWA chapters are part of a silent auction and if you’re driving, you’ll have the space to get them home. Great deals and all for literacy. (Y)