Life is hectic. Most people I know would agree with that statement. We’re all working harder and longer and there’s a lot of uncertainty around thanks to a bunch of bankers who got a little carried away with their bonuses. And, let’s face it, life can just be plain old hard sometimes. Some days are diamonds, some days can only be categorised with a four letter word. One of my favorite time-outs to deal with the accumulated stress of the day/week is to flop on the couch or the bed with a great, absorbing, thrilling book (romance, naturally!). But my second favorite chill out is a new discovery for me – meditation.
I have never been a joiner – my parents weren’t religious, and I’ve never been big into team sports or clubs – so the idea of going someplace and sitting in a room full of people and meditating for 40 minutes took me a while to get my head around. But my partner dragged me along to the Saturday morning class at our local Buddhist centre, insisting it would be good for a wound up writer on deadline, and I’m so glad he did!
I should point out at this stage that I know next to nothing about Buddhism itself, but I like the vibe at this Centre. It’s unpretentious and the room we meet in is very simple – just a wooden floor, windows, white walls and a big statue of the Buddha against one wall. Everyone arrives quietly, ready to accept a bit of peace into their lives for an hour or so, taking their shoes off out in the foyer. Then we all file into the room and find a spot to camp for the next hour. There are blankets to keep us warm, piles of cushions and mats for people to sit on if they choose, little fold out stools to help support people who choose to kneel, and chairs for those who do better sitting upright. (I go the chair option and place a cushion under my feet because I am short and otherwise my legs dangle off the edge of the seat like a muppet’s.)
We practice Mindfulness of the Breath Meditation and Loving Kindness Meditation on alternate weeks. The first is basically about observing the air going in and out of your lungs and counting the breaths. The second has five stages – first you send thoughts of loving kindness to yourself, then someone you love, then someone you have neutral feelings about, then someone you dislike, and finally out to the whole world. As you can imagine, there are challenging aspects to both of these meditations – your mind wanders, and sending loving kindness toward someone you dislike can be a real challenge.
Sometimes I leave the class feeling beautifully calm and at peace with the world. Sometimes I’m frustrated because my mind ran all over the place and was hard to corral (the Buddhists call this “monkey mind”, which I think is very apt!). Sometimes I have wonderful feelings of warmth and light wash over me. Whatever happens, I always get something out of it. I like the sense of community it gives me. I like the way it slows me down. It’s one of the few times in my week when I don’t have some kind of imperative niggling away in the back of my mind – write this, file that, contact this person, organise the other thing. It’s just…time out.
I know meditation isn’t for everyone – some people can’t bear the thought of sitting still for that long! – but if you’ve ever been even slightly curious, check to see if there’s a centre near you that offers meditation classes – I’m so glad I’ve found this little slice of peace in my life.
And my question to you this month is this: what do you do in your life to de-stress and take a deep breath and recharge your batteries? I’d love to hear your ideas – there’s always room for another strategy in my box of tricks!
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I wish I could say I meditate, exercise, or even garden, but the truth is I eat and go to the movies. I need to change my lifestyle. The heroine I’m writing right now is really into meditation and Yoga so I’ve been studying it. I need to practice what I’m studying. Now, with your blog, I feel like the Universe is trying to give me not-so-subtle hints. Thanks for the cosmic nudge, Sarah.
Hi Jillian. More than happy to have provided a cosmic nudge! When I was living in Melbourne I used to do yoga once a week, too. We had a great teacher, and there’s nothing better than stretching out all your muscles after sitting hunched over a computer all day. Used to feel fantastic. Alas, I haven’t found the time to get into it over here in NZ. But I highly recommend both yoga and meditation – good for the soul! As for movies and eating…well, they’re pretty high on my list of favorite things to do, too, so don’t give yourself a hard time over it.
I read (of course) and watch musicals! Life if always so happy there :-P I’ve never meditated, but my friend had me read this book on meditating mixed with positive thinking. I tried it. I sold my first story, finaled in a contest and got re-hired for my job. What ever good ju-ju that book has, I’m going to keep using it!
That book does have good ju-ju! Congratulations on selling your first story – fantastic stuff. And yes, the world of a the musical is a wonderful place. I love Hello Dolly, and Chicago (okay, not so happy in Chicago, but damn entertaining!) and when I was a kid I adored Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Keep reading that book!
I go on a cruise. (H)
Ohh, I like your style! If only I was fit to be seen in public in a swimsuit…
Hi, Sarah, Your meditation class sounds interesting. In my younger years I got that feeling from a regular 20-min. jog. Now, that I have chronic foot problems, I’ve substituted a book to take me to another place & time. Always helps soothe.
Patricia
Patricia, hats off to you on the running. I try to get to the gym, and when I do my time on the treadmill with my i-pod is my favorite bit. Even when my lungs are threatening to explode, I still feel good. Again, it’s that getting away from being hunched over the computer thing, I think. And yes, reading is a superb way to chill. I honestly don’t know where I’d be without books. (unemployed, for starters!)
Hi Sarah, I run to de-stress. Doing it outside is critical–fresh air and nature sounds really clear the mind! If you’re not into running, walking works just as well.
Sometimes (too many times) I also fill up on sugar, and then I have to run some more. lol
Avery, I love to walk in the fresh air and I try to get out and see green things at least once a day. On the weekend we drove to the beach and walked along the beach road for a while – that was lovely, too. As for sugar – well, it’s a major food, right?
Hi, Sarah! I pray or take walks (when I can) or write down a to-do list or go to ballet class or eat or reread a keeper or vent to a friend, depending on the type of stress and the cause. Generally the chocolate is one-stress fits all
BTW, just finished A Natural Father and She’s Got It Bad–wow. When’s your next one out? I can’t wait!
Hey there Fedora. The to-do list rocks. It’s amazing how much more manageable the world becomes when it’s reduced to things that must be done and things that are optional. And there’s nothing better than venting to a sympathetic buddy. Glad you liked A Natural Father and She’s Got It Bad. I’ve got my second Super coming out in November – Home For The Holidays – and my next Blaze is January – Her Secret Fling. Stay well!
When I want to relax I light a candle, sit back with a latte and a good book and put my feet up. Sometimes some music in the background.
Linda Henderson
Hi Linda. I love candles. I have a bunch of really lovely scented ones that I don’t use nearly as much as I should. I tend to use music to motivate me to exercise or clean more than to relax, although I do have this very cool CD of music from around the equatorial countries (called Equa) that I find very soothing, probably because I can’t understand most of the lyrics!
What I do to relax…….walk. However, as much as it drives my family mad, I read, read, read and it’s the most relaxing thing for me in the world!
A good long walk is great, especially if you have nice stuff to look at along the way. And of course I think everyone on this blog would agree that reading cures many ills. I am actually sick at the moment with what I suspect is the dreaded swine flu (unpleasant but not mortally threatening) and the pile of books beside my sick bed is one of the few things keeping me sane. Books have been my best solace through many of life’s tough moments – and yes, sometimes it drives my man crazy, too, when he can’t pry my nose out of a book!
Hi Sarah!
During the summer I can be found in my hammock in the backyard – with pillow – taking a nap or swinging peacefully looking up at the trees. During the winter I go to book store and sit with an ice coffee and page thru magazines and books.
Hey Liz! Lovely to “see” you. The hammock sounds wonderful. I tried to sit in one of those freestanding ones at a shop the other day, but my partner started rocking it back and forward with a wicked gleam in his eye and nearly sent me hurtling out the window. I choose to believe that most hammock time is not quite so life-threatening!