New Year’s Resolutions?
Posted by Candace Havens in Candace Havens, tags: Fun, New Year's, writing
I’ve decided I don’t want to do New Year’s resolutions any more. They cause me too much stress. Every year it’s the same. I promise to eat better and exercise. I promise to work smarter not harder. I promise to travel and spend more time with family. By February everything is hopeless and I feel like a failure because I haven’t done any of those things.
So I’m trying something different. A little reverse psychology. As long as I make my daily deadlines for columns and such, and my book deadlines, I’m free to do whatever I want. Well, within reason. I’m taking two graduate classes this semester so that will go into the mix. I also have some speaking engagements and things like that I have to do. BUT other than than, my time is my own.
Freedom. It’s something I haven’t allowed myself in a long time. Say I want to take a nap on a Thursday afternoon, well I’m free to do that if I want. I no longer want to make myself feel guilty, because I should be working. If I want to spend an hour trying to get through that last castle on the Mario Bros. game, I can. If I want to sleep in on a Saturday, throw the ball with the dogs, and eat gluten-free pizza for breakfast, I can do that too.
I have tendency to always come from this place of guilt. It’s one of the reasons I’m so productive. I never give myself a break, but that’s about to change. Mind you, it’s not any kind of resolution, I’m calling it Grace. Giving myself Grace. Time to figure out what it is that makes me happy. Take exercise for example: I don’t like traditional exercises like running and tae bo kind of stuff. But I do love to dance. And I love the Wii games where you do downhill skiing and snowboarding. The NFL has this new campaign to get kids moving. It’s called Play 60 (Or something like that). They’re idea is to get kids outside and moving. I’m using it a bit differently. I want to do something for 60 minutes a day that makes me smile.
What I want from you are some ideas. What are some fun things I could try? What would you like to try?
May I suggest you check out the upcoming release TAKE ME IF YOU DARE. 
It’s loads of fun and I can guarantee you’re going to have a good time. It’s available in ebook this month and in print in February.
Are you making any resolutions this year? Are you trying any fun and crazy things? Tell me, I want to know.
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What a great idea Candace!
I like it so much that I think I’m going to borrow it too if you don’t mind
You said you like to dance and want something fun?? Have you tried Core Rhythms?? Its a Latin Dance routine by the ladies that choreograph (sp.) on So You Think You Can Dance. Its based on 3 basic movements (and if I can do them you surely can..lol). Its a workout that teaches you something you can use in the clubs too
Just my two cents!
StephanieB
I haven’t heard of core rythms but I love all kinds of Latin Dance. I’m in.
Hi Candace,
I like your thinking!! I’m doing sort of the same thing. Not really a resolution, but a goal of not spinning my wheels so much. I’m going to spend less time *thinking* about doing things (like vacuuming or emailing someone or looking something up, etc) and more time just doing them. I’m hoping by getting things like that done, I’ll free up the guilt that keeps me from doing the things I *want* to. I like the idea of calling it Grace.
Good luck! I look forward to picking up your book. Happy New Year!
Cathy
Cathy, I like that “Not Spinning My Wheels”. I’m trying to do the same thing. Instead of complaining or worrying about something that’s been nagging me, I’ll just get it done.
Maybe Belly Dancing or even better a Ballroom Dancing class. Have you seen the bodies on ballroom dancers? (Dammit, I’d like to know where I can order one of those and try it on for size!) Oh and a friend of mine suggested she and I learn Bollywood dancing. That sounds like it could be a lot of fun as well.
I have some of those ballroom DVD’s. I need to drag them out.
Hooray, Candy! You’re one of the hardest-working people I know. About time you cut yourself some slack. I’ll bet you a big sack-o-chocolate that an attitude of giving yourself grace will ultimately make everything you do shine brighter. Happy New Year.
Sally, Thank you! I have a feeling you are right about the giving myself grace.
Hi Candace.
I always have the usual resolutions…eat better, exercise more, blah blah blah. This year I left those for my Mondays. (I always tend to start diets on Mondays. lol)
My resolution this year? It’s SO simple. Beat my daughters at Wii Tennis. Seriously. They do this little twist that sends me a fast serve every time. I googled it and learned the trick last night. I haven’t won against the oldest yet – 11 years old – but I whooped on my ten-year-old last night. lol My other resolution is to find a few more recipes to add to my keepers.
I kept it simple this year, too. I’ll definitely snag Take Me If You Dare. Sounds awesome.
Have a great new year!
LOL. I did that fast spin the other day and had no idea how I did. Couldn’t repeat it if I tried. I’ll have to look it up too. It isn’t often I can beat my kids at video games, but once in a while with tennis and bowling I do it.
Hi Candace, love the topic for today. It seems like resolutions are on most bloggers minds these days. I am not big on making resolutions, but I like your idea of giving yourself Grace. I too come from that guilt riddled path of thinking when I don’t allow myself to just be. I feel like I need to do something, mostly for others, and never really think of myself. When I do take a little time for myself, I feel guilty about that. Thank you for sharing!
Peace and love,
Paula .
I wonder where all that guilt comes from sometimes. We should be living all the time and enjoying life. For me, I love writing so much that I don’t mind doing it all the time. But it’s the stuff that goes along with that, that wears me out.
excellent way to focus the new year. I am thinking dance, honey. Tell yourself you are going to crank whatever music suits your mood and dance. First 5 min a day and then go more if you want to. Dance with one of the dogs. If you really want to take a class go for it but I think just do it at home. I kind of like taiji myself. I prefer the movement of it over yoga and pilates but not all agree. I think of it as a moving meditation. Slower moving than dance but with many similar qualities. I love walking with Stephen. We either walk to a restaurant or coffee/hot chocolate and for a while we had a goal of walking all roads in our neighborhood and the trails. We xeroxed a copy of a map of the neighborhood, put it on a bulletin board, and each day marked out a new route. It was fun to get house and landscaping ideas, to chat, to move together, and it was less competitive than most exercise. also we were not in front of glowing rectangles. as we moved more we got faster and we could go longer (ok, I could go longer; I was the short pole in the tent.) Most weather you can handle. just cover your head, hands, and mouth/nose when it is cold outside. So not running, which I also dislike, but walking with the hubby. Go to a park to work and or walk trails there. We found some cool local history hikes that were pretty easy (key for that: ask if they are wheelchair or stroller accessible?) Make a date with yourself to see each museum and zoo, however crazy it is, within a 50 mile radius.
Peace and tranquility my dear. Any pizza for breakfast is quite good imo.
Oh, I think while we want to repeat our neighborhood pattern, we also have discussed more road trips. One idea was taking MR2 across the Mississippi River but I think what might win are trying to drive and visit all the towns within X distance. We have found some really good restaurants in small places, so we are thinking maybe we should plan a trek like that and make more weekend/day trips.
I’m not a big fan of walking but dance is a real possibility.
Hey Candy, When you’re done with Grace, can you send her to my house?
I don’t do resolutions–I do goals. It gives me something to aim for, and someplace to put my focus, but it’s a “try to” not a “must.” Maybe less pressure that way. Or not, since I’m me
I don’t like to exercise either. But I love the music in Bollywood musicals (there–now you know my dirty little secret), so I’ve gotten some exercise DVDs that have Bollywood themes and incorporate some belly dancing.
I absolutely believe in goals. We need to see where we are going and what we’ve accomplished. Bollywood musicals are not a dirty secret. I LOVE THEM. The music is amazing.
Hi Candace,
Oh gosh, I am not one for making resolutions. My motto is when I want to do something, I do it now! No beating around the bush, just do it! I have a great husband who cheers me on whenever I tackle something hard. He is a great motivator. That is something that will help you focus on your goal or resolution is to have motivator. Reward yourself when you get a job done, lose weight, get a buddy to help you work out, etc.
Yes, dancing! I love it too! Dancing is so good for the body and soul. I like to work up a sweat when I exercise because I feel so energized afterwards. Also, dancing is so much fun that you don’t feel like your exercising and getting your body in shape.
Happy New Year Candace!
Michele, I have a pretty supportive family too. It makes a big difference.
I like your philosophy Candy!! For 60 minutes a day do something that makes you smile! Those are words to live by.
I’ve vowed to step outside my comfort zone and try one new thing a month. Maybe it’ll be an author I’ve never read, or hike a trail I’ve never hiked or take a class, or order a new dish at a restaurant because I order the same thing every single time.
I think it would be so much fun to take an adult gymnastics class. I’ve never done gymnastics, but I do yoga and I’ve always been pretty athletic. I’d love to be able to do a back handspring! If ya hear of one, let me know :-).
I’ve started the gym back in October. I do Zumba 2x a week and I LOVE it. The first 2 times I only made it thru the first 30 minutes but after that was able to the full hour. Then 2x a week I do the treadmill for 20 minutes then weights for 15, then the bike for 5 for a warm down – so I don’t get bored.
Now if I could only get my eating under control!
I’ve never done Zumba but it looks like fun. I hear you on the eating. Right now I am addicted to chocolate.