And for the rest of you, it looks like Joanne is giving away another copy from her stash, so keep playing!
The February Blaze, MANHUNTING, will soon be coming to a store near you. It’s the book I share with authors Betina Krahn and Joanne Rock about three women who decide they’ve spent their last Valentine’s Day dateless. They’re on a mission to find men, and of course, by the end that’s what they get.
I’ll admit that as an author, I live vicariously through my characters. I enjoy making my heroines do things I’d never have the guts to do myself, and chasing after men is one of those things. Far too insecure when it came to the opposite sex, I was always one to leave the advances up to the men–which put me in some pretty dismal relationships, I have to admit. There was only once in my life when I pulled out the stops and actually pursued a man. He was the one too good to let out of my grasp, and two decades later, I’ve still got him as my husband and best friend.
It was 1987, and I was in a go-nowhere relationship which had become the norm for me. It wasn’t that I’d never met Mr. Wonderful. I’d met several during my single years. Unfortunately, despite how perfect we might have been together, how great we got along, how much we had in common, I was always that brown-haired “friend” they loved to chat with while they ogled the blond bombshell across the bar. You see, in the world of Three’s Company, I was Janet, always rendered the sidekick while the man of my dreams chased after Suzanne Sommers. Thus, when I met my husband, my first thought was “here we go again.”
He was gorgeous, tall, dark and handsome just the way I like them. And we had EVERYTHING in common. We loved the same movies, the same music, we made each other laugh, could talk about anything and always saw things eye-to-eye. Which was exactly why I was convinced I wasn’t his “type”. Add the complication that I was already involved with another man at the time (one of those go-nowheres I’d mentioned before) I’d pretty much dismissed any notion that Mr. Perfect and I would end up together.
Until the night we were gathered with a group of friends and someone needed to go on a beer run. Mr. Perfect and I opted to go–on a purely platonic friendly basis, of course. And that’s the way the trip went until we were in the car and driving to Safeway when he uttered the phrase I’ll never forget: “If I had a woman like you, I’d be set for life.”
I nearly floated out of the sunroof. Was this actually happening? Had he really said that? Was this awesome, gorgeous guy who I adored actually giving me the hint that he preferred “Janet” over “Chrissy”?
The rest of the trip to the store went on without event, but I knew that given my situation, if anything was to come between me and Mr. Perfect, I would have to get over myself and do some chasing. And that’s exactly what I did. I broke it off with Go Nowhere and all but threw myself at Mr. Perfect. It was the first time in my life I ever chased after a man–and the last. Because 22 years later, he’s still Mr. Perfect, my best friend, and the hottest guy I ever got my hands on. When it came to MANHUNTING, I actually didn’t quite live vicariously through my character. I drew the story from my own experience. (At least the part where Kitty Callahan propositions The Beek and needs a tank of oxygen to get through it). But it was the one time in my life I took a chance and scored. And like Kitty and The Beek, it was the best move I ever made.
So tell me: Have you ever gone manhunting? And if so, how did it turn out? Are you the type to go after an interesting prospect, or are you passive like I was, pining away quietly hoping the man of your dreams takes notice? I’ve got a free copy of MANHUNTING to give away to one lucky person who shares his/her experience.
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No, I’ve never went manhunting. I’m kind of like you, sit back and wait for him to come to me. Probably why I’ve been married and divorced twice, should have went hunting for them instead.
(C) I have never been “Manhunting”. With that being said I met my hubby of 19 years in a bar. I was out with a friend and her then boyfriend when My prince charming appeared at the opposite end of the bar with a long neck of Coors Light. He sat and watched me for a long while and when I left to visit the little girls room my friend went over and told him I thought he was cute and would love to dance with him. Now I did say I thought he was cute but I never mentioned dancing. She had told him I sent her over to talk to him on my behalf, requesting a dance. I never said that nor did I send her over. That is just not who I am. But he asked me to dance and we did until the bar shut down then we went to Denny’s and ate breakfast .
Jan 2nd was our 19 year anniversary and I have never been happier. So I didn’t technically manhunt, my best friend did it for me, on my behalf. Does that count as a yes or no?
Patsy, what a great story! Thanks for sharing that. I wonder are you still friends with the woman who did your manhunting for you? She must be proud.
Yes, we have been best friends since we were freshmen in high school. I dont talk to her as often anymore because she works as a nurse in the prison system and works really crazy hours but we still try and stay in touch.
Hey Lori, love the premise for this story. I can’t wait to get my hands on this one too. Like you were, I am pretty passive when it comes to chasing after a man. I am…what’s the phrase you used?…”far too insecure when it comes to the opposite sex.” I, too, have often felt like Janet when in mixed company. When I am with a group of my girlfriends, I often felt like the odd man out so to speak, because “Chrissy” would walk by and all the attention would be on her. This is not a pleasant feeling. I am a good friend to many, but no one special yet. I am still hoping Mr. Right will take notice of me, but I need to get over my insecurities first before that will ever happen. So, I continue to live on vicariously through the characters wonderful authors like you create.
I love the line Mr. Perfect gave you. You have to use it somewhere in a book or something. I am glad you were able to pull it off, and still going strong too. Does he remember saying that line to you? Just curious. Have a great rest of the day.
Peace and love,
Paula R.
Ugh, I can’t tell you how many times I sat in bars in my early years and listened while a hunky friend of mine asked, “Do you think that woman over there would dance with me if I asked?”
As for getting over insecurities, I think the right man will prompt you to do that. Sometimes, it’s a matter of him being too good to let go, and we’ve got to take a chance. It’s scary, but like my husband says, it isn’t any less frightening for men, either.
I will keep that in mind Lori. I could only imagine how hard it is for men. It just seems like they have an easier time of it than women do. I guess I need to get out there, so that the right man and me can bump into each other then…LOL!!! You know, I have held myself to some pretty rigid standards of behavior, and I never really do/did the bar thing at all. I think I need to let myself experience life more, and just live, you know. Then maybe, just maybe, I might feel better about myself and meet Mr. Right.
Peace and love,
Paula R.
The bar scene never worked well for me either. But I do think you have the right idea to get out there and do something, be it volunteering or even just bowling with friends. Love finds itself in all kinds of surprising places, I think!
The bar thing obviously worked well for me, that being said if you choose to go that route, may I suggest to keep in mind as I did, that Mr Right may or may not be there and don’t set your expectations too high. You will know him when you meet him. I did not go out to meet “Him” he just basically fell in my lap. He wasn’t out looking for anything in particular, he just went out to have a couple of beers and relax and Bam there I was.
Lori, I am like you, passive. I was always the girl who the guys considered a friend and who they talked to about other girls. That was until the week before I graduated. I met this totally hot guy at my sisters house and ramed a mattress into his manly area, lol. Two weeks later we went out on our first date. A month after that he asked me to marry him and of course I said yes! We were married two months later. That was over 10 years ago. He is still the hottest man ever and I am still the luckiest woman ever. And yes he still brings up the mattress, and everytime he does I remind him of the three children we have and tell him I didnt break anything so get over it, lol!
Have a great day and I cant wait to read your new book! (*)
Alina, what a great story! LOL your reply to your husband made me laugh.
I am such a wallflower… I am very passive… guys seem to see me as THE FRIEND… I am still hoping my Mister Right comes into my life one day… I love that line Mr. Perfect said! (*)
Colleen, I think he will, and when you find him don’t let him get away!
I’ve never really been brave enough to go manhunting. When I was in college I worked at the USO as a part time job and met a whole lot of guys in the air force as there was a base in town but I never really was brave enough to ask any of them out…
Lori, what an AWESOME story! I’m so glad you and Mr. Perfect found each other and that you went after what/who you wanted! Woohoo! There were a couple times when I’ve gone after someone, and those instances didn’t end up in any sort of HEA… (I mustered every last bit of courage I had, and asked a crush to dance in high school–he didn’t run screaming, but nothing came of it; I pretty much threw myself at a friend I adored in college, and that ended somewhat badly–he just wasn’t that into me ;)) Thankfully, my now husband went after me, and after quite a few bumps in the road, I realized my good fortune
I’m thankful for him every day!
Looking forward to reading your fictional story now, Lori!
Fedora, you are a true Blaze heroine. Though they didn’t work out, you got up the gumption to take that chance. Kudos to you!
I did ask a boy out in high school once, he wasn’t into me like that. Haven’t had the courage to do it again, but honestly haven’t met any guys that made me want to. I’m more of a passive person, very shy.
Love how your story turned out!
Thanks, Nicole!
Oh dear, I have no stories, of any kind. Sigh. No guys in my life, never been married, and just had crushes on two semi-nerds in high school; alas, they did know (small class, so couldn’t hide much LOL), but nothing came out it. So, I simply live vicariously through many a romance novel. And that’s many. (And maybe also lives vicariously through the covers too — sure love this one!!)
Lois
Thanks Lois! I’m particularly fond of this cover too!
I totally suck at MANHUNTING. I pretty much left my “wallflower” persona behind in high school and started fresh with college in another state. But unfortunately, the men I have “chosen” over the years have never turned out to be what I thought they were. You know the old adage, “be careful of what you ask for because you might get it”? In my experience, it’s true! ACK!!!! I have discovered more cases of “false advertising” than I ever imagined could possibly exist.
But I have learned from this. I have learned that I truly believe in my value system, and that character is important to me. And that it is important for me to share this with someone who also holds it in high regard. I am no longer distracted by the pretty face, bedroom eyes, or rippling six pack. My Mr. Perfect’s check list has been refined and at the same time, become a bit more broad spectrum. I am hoping that this is an indication that the next time I think someone is right for me, they might actually be! Until then, I really like being by myself…it’s a lot less stress than trying to work out a relationship that doesn’t meld to begin with. And in the mean time, I can live vicariously through characters like Lori’s whenever I get a craving for romance!
Great points. I like to think that all those “friends” I crushed on but never crushed back wouldn’t have been right for me anyway. I mean, how great can a guy be if he’s ignoring the awesome chick next to him just because someone looks better in a short skirt?
Here’s hoping you find that guy. I’m thinking when you do, he’ll be thrilled to find someone who appreciates his qualities.
I’ve never gone manhunting. It’s sounds fun and exciting, but I don’t wouldn’t know how to execute the manhunting strategies.
LOL Jane–it’s what I like best about writing. I can execute manhunting strategies and make sure they turn out the way I want. If only real life were that easy!
I would never manhunt. All the guys I ever dated were co-workers or friends of my friends. I need to feel comfortable with a guy first!!
Me too. I’ve written heroines who have flings with strangers, but in real life I don’t think I could!
What a great story, Lori! I think flirting and dating and occasional manhunting are good for us. While I enjoy those “love at first sight” stories, I think it’s often more realistic to see what’s out there, to date a little bit with this kind of personality and that kind of personality to see what works best. How else do you recognize the Keeper when you find him? I can say with certainty that– as much as my husband drives me crazy sometimes– I know what else is out there and he’s The Bomb. (L)
So very true!
I didn’t go manhunting for the Hub. I met him about 8 months before I was supposed to study overseas for six months….I wanted no attachments when I went overseas (I was supposed to go get “Australia man” (a guy who I knew was going to be there…he was a host brother of mine for my previous visit). Go figure, Hub and I started dating/dating 2 weeks before I was supposed to leave. He stuck by me. Throughout our ‘courtship”, most of it was long distance and I kept ‘leaving’ him for the next opportunity. He stuck by me through thick and thin. We spent the first six months of our married life in separate places and yet, we are still together.
What a sweet story. He definitely sounds like a keeper.
Hi Lori,
Well, I wasn’t actually a wild child but I did get my man through an ad in the newspaper. He was looking for a tutor in math. I was in my first year of college so I thought it was a high school student. I called the number listed and his dad answered the phone. He said his son wasn’t home and that he would tell him to call me when he got home from college. College? Well, my hubby was in his first year of college also. He interviewed me and thought I was so cute, he called me a couple nights later to ask if I would like to go out dancing with him. I said “YES”!!! Well, I didn’t get the job but I got the man instead! We hit it off so well that we were talking engagement rings just 4 months down the road. He is my hot, handsome Italian lover! (*)
Almost 30 years ago, I was walking down my hometown street when I recognized my now DH’s parked car. (He was a friend of the family at the time, but I had been dating someone else up until the week before that.) I figured out that my DH was in a restaurant across the street, so I just waited and waited, window shopping of course, until he came out. Sure enough, he saw me walking up the street and offered me a ride to my mom’s home, where I had left my car. He asked me to go to the show that night, and the rest is history. We’ve been married 28.5 years and are much happier and more in love (if that’s possible) than we were back then.
Congrats Sherri!!