There is an island somewhere in the Caribbean that two countries have been hotly fighting over. There was diplomatic tension, ongoing threats of attack, etc.
Enter global warming and last month the island dropped into the sea.
Gone…glub, glub, glub. No more dispute. Case closed.
That got me thinking about worry.
(Of course. Everything gets me thinking about worry.)
Specifically thinking about all the things I’ve worried about over the years that never happen at all. What’s the saying? Worrying about tomorrow only sucks the joy from today.
So true.
A friend of mine is very, very popular. She’s on numerous on-line groups, is active in clubs, well known and beloved everywhere she goes. Recently, her mother, a psychiatrist, mused, “You know, if I’d know how popular you would end up being, I wouldn’t have worried so much about you being lonely in college.”
That mother endured hours, months and years of needless worry. And she was a shrink, who, no doubt, knew better!
Meanwhile, the real troubles slam us out of left field. We’re wringing our hands and sweating in the completely wrong direction.
That means that when I worry about whether my son will do well in college, find a good job, be loved his life long, or whether my first SuperRomance, A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS, coming in November, will sell well, or if my editor will love the one I’m working on right now as much, I’m simply poisoning many lovely days, weeks, months and years. Right?
Absolutely. Gotta stop that.
Maybe I’ll worry about how much I worry for a while…
What pointless worries do you have? How do you banish them?
My advice is Bobby McFerrin’s: Don’t worry, be happy.
I double dog dare you.
Best,
Dawn Atkins
www.dawnatkins.com
A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS, HQ SuperRomance, 11/10
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I worry about my boys. My Oldest has autism. I worry that he doesn’t have friends. My middle guy is being bullied by a neighbor (and it’s a surprising situation), so I worry about that. My youngest, he’s just autism-y and happy (LOL).
I do this all the time. It drives me crazy. I worry about “what if” scenarios and the next thing you know… hand wringing. I blame my mother. LOL. No, really, she’s the same way. We just had a long conversation about it at lunch a few weeks ago when she caught me doing it and mused that she’d passed that unfortunate gene on. And you’re totally right. The What If very rarely happens and you spend all that time worrying and losing sleep over it. It’s ridiculous what the imagination can come up with for scenarios. My mom thought of it as “being prepared” but we’re both realizing it’s really just a detriment to energy and focus. Hard to change habits though, but I’m trying.
Oddly enough the one thing that really works well for me when I’m worrying myself into a tizzy is just to stop, take a couple of deep breaths and say, “The hell with it.” I might have to say it a few times and — when and if I catch myself worrying about said thing — say it again for good measure, but eventually? It works. I let it go, relax, and de-stress over it. It’s like a pressure release valve.
I tend to be a worrywort…. Sometimes I wish I could just let things slide off my back, but that is just not me…
Interesting subject! I don’t worry, it is a useless waste of time and energy. My mom & grandmother worried and drove me crazy so I don’t They did enough for a large number of people. Being concerned while figuring out what to do about something is one thing but to worry about what if–no, not me! I have no advice for those that worry other than try to think about good, positive things such as good health, a sunny day, a wonderful family. Music can be very uplifting, maybe keeping some music on throughout the day would help.
Good luck. I enjoy your books.