No Splendor in the Grass in Texas
Posted by Heather MacAllister in Heather MacAllister, tags: fire ants
All photos by Dr. Bart Drees of Texas A&M. Used with permission.
A rain, like, oh, the one we had last week because we were on the wet side of Hurricane Alex. Did I mention that fire ants float? You don’t want to go wading in flood waters. ANYway, they build their mounds everywhere, 
including electrical boxes and air conditioning units and the edges of vegetable gardens belonging to writers who have deadline brain, as perfectly described by Sarah on Monday. And when these writers, who have recently finished their books, stumble outside to rescue their drowning veggies, they aren’t quite as mentally agile as usual and fail to notice the new mound until they are standing right in it. Wearing flip flops. That was Friday. As of this morning, my ankles are back.
Fire ants bring folks together. We can always tell people new to the area because they’ll stare at the ants instead of swatting at them as fast as they can. 
Complete strangers will race up and start batting at their legs while yelling, “Take off your pants!” People will do this even though they know they’ll probably get bitten on their hands. They’re willing to take a bite to save somebody from serious discomfort.
Fire ants are why you won’t find scenes with couples cavorting in the grass in my Texas-set books. Or wandering barefoot through the grass. Or having picnics on the grass. In fire ant territory, there is no splendor in the grass.
When I use settings I’ve had to research, I always wonder if I’ve missed something like fire ants that I wouldn’t know without living in the area.
What’s something that’s unique to your area of the country or world? What gets overlooked in books and movies? If I set a book in your hometown, what tidbit would I need to know? I’m after insider info, here.
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Just how beautiful it is (I live in the PNW). We tend to only talk about the rain, which is fine..it rains a LOT here, I chuckle because that’s what we tell people).
Ha! I visited a couple of years ago this September and it was day after day of glorious sunny weather in the 70s. I saw clouds on my last day there. But one thing I did learn is that you have those seasonal lights because you don’t get enough sunlight. I remember seeing them in a Costco. Also piles of coats, hats, and gloves. Not so much here. (H)
Good Morning Heather! Now we live in Indiana and the only tips I can think of are to watch out for Colts fan cause if your now one they can be mean, lol! And the Indy 500 is like a religion here, its not just a car race.
Where I grew up in the mountains of southern California the tips would be; the bears will eat your trash if its left out, just something you will have to clean up later. Snow on the back deck makes for a great cooler for beer. The fog can get so thick you can’t see 2 feet ahead of you. The raccoons are cute but can be mean little suckers! Flatlanders(people from down the hill) can be really annoying but its just something you have to deal with. You have to know how to put chains on your car cause if you dont you wont make it up during the winter. No fleas, they cant live at that altitude. And last the best part is you can snow ski in the morning then head 2 hours to the beach!
Have a great day! (*)
Oh and I have to say the fire ants are hell! I remember them from when we lived in GA. They were so bad! So glad we dont have to deal with them anymore!
No fleas? (&) I didn’t know that! That’s exactly the kind of thing I’m talking about. I would never have known, so I’d probably write about flea collars, or a dog scratching, or something with no idea that fleas can’t live in high altitude.
Yeah I dont remember exactly what altitude they die at, but we were at 6100 feet and I know we didnt have any, lol!
Well, here in NJ we are having 100 degree temps, and well, it’s annoying. . . and we apparently have lots of Italian mobsters, though I never have met any. . . oh, and annoying Italian young people at the Jersey Shore, though I never go there or watch it, so that’s the extent of my knowledge on it. . . and we smell, according to Jay Leno, which might be true, but I live here, so I would be used to it by now not to notice. . . The Jets and Giants play here, even though the are the NY Giants and the NY Jets. . . and we have Newark airport, which if anyone has traveled through there before, will be groaning when you see those words. . . and our property taxes are the highest in the land, although for some reason, the gas taxes are the exact opposite. . . and for all the stereotypes that there are out there for NJ, sure isn’t all that bad, which is probably the biggest thing that people don’t know about the state. Sure could be worse. . . though, without a/c, sure is hard to think of how at the moment.
Lois
Didn’t know that about the Jets and Giants. Sorry about the property taxes. And I really feel for you and no a/c. Nights are the worst.
“Complete strangers will race up and start batting at their legs while yelling, “Take off your pants!” “
ROFL!! I’m sure this could be worked into a romance novel, couldn’t it? Minus the fire ants? Aah, maybe it is just me, but that sentence has me giggling like a schoolgirl.
Insider tips…hhmm. I suppose I’m still new enough here that I don’t know them yet! One of the things that seems to surprise a lot of people is that it is not pitch black out all day long in the middle of winter here in south central Alaska. Technically, the sun is above the horizon for 5 hours or so, but then you have an hour or so of twilight on either side of that. It may not be blazing sun, but it is certainly light! And down here on the tip of the Kenai Peninsula, the weather is more like the PNW than other parts of Alaska. Let’s see… most people know that it can get COLD in Fairbanks, but many don’t realize that it also gets HOT in the summers. Think 80s and warmer.
Nothing too exciting for tips there, but it is what I thought of between giggles.
I know. I’m surprised I haven’t used it already. What’s really interesting is when everyone is speaking a different language. Multiple people will run to help, especially if it’s a parent with kids. If the parent is being stung, likely the children are, too. And ants have to be brushed off. Shaking won’t work and neither will dipping in water.
I never think of Alaska as getting into the 80s. I assume it cools off at night. Here, not so much.
You already know about the worse thing I have in my hometown since I live in Texas but you would also have to watch out for chiggers if you planned to roll around in the grass for whatever reason you might have for doing so
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Forgot about chiggers! :-O
Heather, the first time I visited Florida, we stopped at a gas station and I stepped out onto a grassy area to stretch my legs and stood talking through the car window to my kids. I felt something wicked biting my bare feet and–just like you said–stood staring stupidly at the ants swarming over my feet just seconds before I started dancing and screaming. A complete stranger DID come over and dragged me onto the hot top and began swiping at my legs with a cloth to get the little biters off and then threw the towel into the trash. Fire ants. I never would have believed it if I hadn’t experienced it myself.
Here in my little Massachusetts town, things are “wicked cool.” Sandwich shops sell subs, not grinders and we wash them down with tonic, not soda. The nearby beaches have greenheads, which are nasty flies that will take a chunk right out of you when they bite (and they love to bite). Speaking of which, I hope your poor feet and ankles are feeling better soon!
I’m glad someone helped you! My bites are at the ugly stage. At least they’ve stopped itching.
Tonic is a new one for me. We have subs here, too. And I have never heard of greenheads. Good to know. Note to self: avoid beaches in Massachusetts.
That there are coyotes and a few miles away there are bears. More bears are showing up. I wouldn’t recommend walking into woods unarmed. We even had a bobcat not too long ago. In September if it gets cool then warms up again we get tons of Chinese beetles. It’s no picnic being outside, they fly all over you. In your hair, on your clothes.
Chinese beetles? In the hair? Another new one. Bears are not new, although I do not with to interact with them outside a zoo.