And here is Sarah Jessica Parker with her homage to Dr. Seuss.

There’s actually a name for these whimsically bizarre bits of feathers, tulle and fabric: fascinators. And I find myself fascinated.

Look at these things:

I want one. Easy enough. They’re for sale. Or I could make my own. But it’s not enough to want one. I want some place to wear it, some event where wearing a fascinator is not only appropriate, but encouraged. Realistically, I’m not headed to a royal wedding or Ascot any time soon. I’d freak out the people at Kroger and Ace Hardware. I bet the 99 Cent store folks would be cool, though. Still. I do not have the kind of life that requires a fascinator. But I want one anyway.

So am I alone? Well, maybe about the fascinators, but who else has something in her closet she just had to have but doesn’t have the life for? You know what I’m talking about. ‘Fess up.