Watching Survivor the other night, and kibitzing with my husband over our favorites, he said “this is going to be a divisive Survivor season for us, isn’t it?” LOL (I like Boston Rob, and hubby admires Russell’s game). We are competitive people, and we can be very competitive with each other, though over the years we’ve found how to make that more of a plus than a negative. Competition is good and healthy — it sparks you to push yourself a little harder, to do a little better. It can add a little spice to life, and emphasize the things you care about. And let’s face it, it’s fun to win, or to be on the winning side. It’s also nice to see someone deserving win, and to see someone take loss gracefully. But things can get heated in the spirit of competition, and it’s sometimes hard to maintain that cool.

I remember when my in-laws visited, and we all played Cribbage. In Cribbage, you can “muggins” someone and take their points if they are not paying attention. In-laws would politely point out to each other when they had not been paying attention and were horrified at dh and I gleefully muggins-ing each other. We were horrified they would point out the lack of attention and give up the points. Because if you are going to win, you should earn it. This is how we played games with our kids, and I don’t come from a family where you let someone win. I know this makes raising kids difficult, too. I have mixed feelings about the “everyone wins” philosophy when it comes to kids — I know we don’t want kids feeling bad or left out, but really, does it set the right example? If everyone always wins, do they ever get a chance to learn how to lose well, and to know that is okay? (thinking about last week’s Desperate Housewives, which took this up in an really great way).

The only time I find myself angry about a loss is when it seems unfair — like Rob getting voted off because Coach is a weenie…(okay, I’ll stop…). But seriously, Rob is a solid competitor who deserved to be there. Similarly, on shows like the Amazing Race, you have fantastic teams who lose because they get a bad cabbie in the last leg. Total luck of the draw. I guess the appeal of these shows is much like sports, for those of us who enjoy the competition, watching the challenges, and rooting for our favorites, but those things we can’t control that throw everything sideways are so hard to watch.

And of course, we all have the stories of how/when it can get out of hand, especially in the arena of sports (kids sports, in particular). Respect has to be part of healthy competition — the only way a win is worth it is if you are up against a worthy opponent, and while you can dislike losing, you can simultaneously be happy for the other person’s win. I really dislike when players (and fans) treat each other badly. As a Red Sox fan, I don’t root for the Yankees, but I have to respect the team and the fans. They give us worthy opponents, and great games to watch. Being a Red Sox fan wouldn’t be half the fun without the Yankees, after all.

Anyway, this was just something that popped up into my mind to blog about as the baseball season starts, and Survivor hits it’s critical point. Have you ever felt really bad about your team or player losing? I’ll admit it, I was sulky about Rob being voted out, but it’s how the game goes. I don’t know why it bothers me so much, but competition can be a very visceral thing. We’re probably acting out all kinds of archetypal dramas.

It’s 80+ degrees in Syracuse today, so I am probably outside doing yard work with dh — I wonder who will outchop, outclear, outmulch? I will stop by, and if you pop in to share a thought on competition, and it’s part in your life, personality, or reading/writing (or TV watching), I’ll pick someone to receive a copy of my May Blaze, Make Your Move, by the end of the day (just a little contest in the spirit of competition!)