“I kept thinking about you as I read it,” said one friend, her eyes wide, her look one of total discomfort. “I could really hear your voice in it.”

Well yes.  And that’s a good thing. I want my voice to be highly recognizable and distinctive. It’s the subtext of this comment that causes problem for her as a reader and- to a certain extent- for me as a writer. She identified me with the heroine and- when those love scenes came around- couldn’t get past the sense that she’d glimpsed a little too much into my private life.

I totally empathize. I remember this sensation from the days when I’d first ventured into romance writing. I would make a writing friend – published or un-published, it didn’t matter- and then read her work. Afterward, I’d feel like I knew far too much about her! That sensation has long since disappeared. I write with plenty of separation between me and my characters, and I recognize that other authors do
as well. We are not writing biographies. We write the stories of characters from our head.

Perhaps that’s why there’s always a little overlap though. We tend to create characters that are accessible for us, characters who could be a best friend or – even- ourselves, had we taken another path in life. If we
chose to write about people too different from us, we might hit too many false notes. So we fearlessly mingle reality and fiction, giving one character our fear of snakes and another character our love of soap operas. We make one heroine a writer – that’s always so tempting!- and we write another with the same profession we held before we were writers. Bit by bit over the years, we piecemeal out our sense of self into lots of characters so that every one we create has something in common with us, if only in the most superficial of
ways.

This was proven to me recently as I reviewed my older titles in an effort to promote them on my website. I wanted to freshen up the blurbs and make sure I mentioned connected stories.  In doing so, I had cause to re-read some of those older books, and what do you know, my heroines have matured along with me. Not that I wrote an immature heroine to start with. But I did write a heroine who was typically a bit more carefree. Her conflicts were often work-related and she was less focused on her emotions- that emotional focus only came after meeting the hero. Those earlier heroines probably had better wardrobes. They went out more.

Nowadays, my heroines have more emotional conflicts straight out of the gate. They have a bit of baggage, but they strike me as a bit tougher because of it.  I like the heroines I’m writing today, but I have to admit I really enjoyed the look back and reading the heroines of a decade ago. It was like meeting up with old friends.

*** Pretend you’re writing a romance novel.  What quality would you give your fictional heroine?  Career? Tell me anything about a character that comes to mind and we’ll see if your characters share anything
in common with you! I’ve got a hot-off-the-press advance copy of ONE MAN RUSH for one random poster.

So I’m intrigued to watch these boys of mine grow up. Their world and their experiences are so much different than mine. Take sports for example. Their father is a bit sports-obsessed, but all the boys have great interest in any arena that requires athleticism and skill, so their dad isn’t exactly leading them anywhere they don’t want to go. From broom ball to stick ball, hockey to hoop, these kids have played every game imaginable, making up their own from rudimentary materials at hand when they lack the proper court and equipment. Trust me, not five minutes passes in my house in which one of them doesn’t challenge another in some sporty test of skill. Whether it’s seeing who can be first to the dinner table or who can stick the landing on a handcrafted backyard mogul, my boys are extremely competitive.

You might ask what this has to do with the making of a Blaze hero. Well, I’ve decided I must be somehow engaged in the process as I raise three strong, smack-talking competitors with relentless drive to be the best. I mean, I added in some manners wherever I could—they’d better hold those doors open me or face dire consequences—and I’ve nourished and encouraged their innate intelligence wherever possible. But all the rest of who they are seems to come from pre-scripted he-man DNA that has nothing to do with me. Other than the fact that my husband famously claims to have married me for my ability to palm a basketball (something I didn’t know I could do until he placed one in my hand), I don’t think I had much to do with the development of these soon-to-be men.

Still, I’ve got to smile. Between the muscles they’re dead set on building and the quick wits they’re forced to develop from the non-stop verbal sparring, I can’t help but see signs of heroes in the making.

***So I’ve got to ask the moms… do you feel like you’ve influenced your kids to a great extent? Or are you continually amazed at what uniquely different personalities you encounter in them?? Hop on the boards to tell me what you think and I’ll be glad to share a copy of SHE THINKS HER EX IS SEXY with a random poster. ***

For awhile, I questioned if I was indeed too self-conscious. But with time and the wisdom age brings, I have learned that my caring what other people think is a core foundation of what makes me a writer. In fact, it’s one of the keenest skills I bring to the table. Because I’m not just wondering what other people think when my husband uses his Cheech and Chong accent at the McDonald’s drive thru in San Juan. I’m speculating about other peoples’ thoughts all the time. When I see an older couple arguing in a restaurant about something mundane—say, a disagreement about where the waitress said she hails from—I’m building a lifetime full of conflicts in my head. Within a few minutes, I’m seeing this little argument in the context of bigger issues that have been threading through their relationship from day one. Because we all know what the waitress said isn’t what their arguing about. They’re arguing about the fact he doesn’t listen. Or that she’s a know-it-all. Or both. Or vice versa.

Surely their argument is none of my business. But a lifetime of discreet nosiness has served me well. I’m sensitive to what other people think and feel. I can read body language from a hundred paces. And that’s a useful skill when I’m pulling together a character out of thin air. I’m so used to imagining scripts for people that I can churn up dialogue for fictional characters with ease.

Of course, sometimes I do take this interest too far. And it’s not while I’m writing the internal monologue for what a small child thinks of my husband as he lopes around the playground doing his Cha-Ka imitation from Land of the Lost. It’s when I’m tuned into Animal Planet, watching the guy tiger stalk the lady tiger. In my head, I can hear her telling him to back off. She’s got a litany of complaints a mile long about what she’s had to do that day to feed the young and hunt tricky antelope while the male has slept for eighteen hours straight. She’s in no mood for his antics and tells him so with a growl that would have scared off anything else in the animal kingdom…

But when I start penning lines for tigresses, I know I’ve gone too far. Clearly, that’s the time to turn off my dialogue writer for the night and just BE.

***So am I the only one who thinks public eavesdropping is every bit as entertaining as reality TV? And are you more of an observer of life like me or do you enjoy hopping into that spotlight on a regular basis? I’m giving away a signed copy of my February Blaze, SHE THINKS HER EX IS SEXY, to a random poster.***

1) We can never say “Not tonight honey, I have a headache.”

There comes a time in every romance writer’s life when she doesn’t feel like writing a love scene. Maybe her kids are ill and writing a love scene is the last thing on her mind. Or maybe she just had a fight with her significant other and there’s a bit of anger projected onto her fictional hero. But when you’re a Blaze author, writing a fade-to-black love scene simply isn’t an option. You’ve got to be ready to sizzle at all times.

2) We’re the resident sex experts.

Now at first, this is kind of fun. When you become a Blaze author, your friends and family all try to hide their surprise that you write “those books”—the ones with the sexy-as-hell covers your mother doesn’t admit she’s ever read. But eventually, being the local sexpert will land you in embarrassing situations. Your newspaper boy winks at you even though he’s barely reached puberty. Your neighbor reveals an acrobatic event in her bedroom the night before and offers more details in case you’d like some ideas for your next book. Men older than your father will guffaw with lecherous glee to learn what you write and ask if you want any pointers. Umm… no.

3) We’re the bad girls.

While the men in a Blaze author’s life are busy suggesting they’d be happy to supply inspiration for future projects, there is another population of friends and family who can be less enthusiastic. Non-romance reading buds steer their impressionable children away from our bookcases full of splashy covers. Quasi-helpful siblings read our books while hiding them behind copies of National Geographic. A few utterly non-helpful friends hide our autographed labors of love all together, unwilling to admit they like racy romance.

Still, I wouldn’t trade being a Blaze author for the world. A Psychology Today study assures us that readers of romance make love with their partners 74% more often than non-romance readers. So I’d like to think I’ve had a hand in making the world a happier place through my stories. And maybe I’m deluding myself, but I hope even those friends who are hiding my book covers are kicking their love lives up a notch the night after a sexy Blaze read.

So razz me all you want. Any way you look at it… you’re welcome. (L)

***
Whether you’re a reader or a writer of hot romance, I’ll bet there are people in your life who give you a hard time about liking “those books.” What’s your response?