I’m currently working on a Blaze where the heroine goes on a dozen dates, so when I saw a review of Undateable: 311 Things Guys Do That Guarantee They Won’t Be Dating or Having Sex, I checked it out. While I was interested to see if the authors’ deal-breakers matched my deal-breakers, I really wanted to avoid having the hero commit any no-nos. The authors, Ellen Rakieten and Anne Coyle, rank men’s transgressions as Red Flags, Storm Warnings, Not Getting Any, and Kiss of Death. Examples of Red Flags are black jeans, crocs, cell phones clipped to the waist, ugly, gray sweatpants, and vanity plates. Storm Warnings are jorts (jean shorts–who knew?), being overly cologned, having a soul patch, fanny packs, shaving your chest, rearranging your junk in public, and playing Dungeons and Dragons. As for Not Getting Any, we have tube socks, bike shorts, holiday sweaters, double denim, open mouth breathing, and owning a rodent. Kiss of Death transgressions include wearing tighty whities, hair plugs, attending a medieval festival, bringing a baseball glove to a professional game, mesh tops, and guylights.

Some of these made me laugh and some were very familiar. Gleefully, I read the article aloud to my husband, who hates what he calls “arbitrary” rules. A little while later, I heard him rummaging around and he emerged from the closet with the belt clip to his cell phone. He made sure I was watching as he clipped the phone to the waistband of his jorts. He also wore tube socks and a tee-shirt on the storm-warning list. Oh, and there was a shadow beneath his lip–a one-day-old soul patch. I just looked at him and said, “No.” He laughed and left the house in his car with the vanity plates. He was probably going to shop for crocs. Later, he changed into black jeans. Also bike shorts, but he was actually biking. At least he didn’t bring home a rodent. Or a girlfriend.

Clearly, I was blinded by love when I was dating, so I don’t know about the 311 things. Sure, berating the wait staff would make a guy undateable for me, but what’s wrong with black jeans?

What makes a guy undateable for you?

I have a friend whose husband is a devoted kilt-wearer. This is endlessly fascinating to me. He likes kilts so much, and he likes running so much, he even invented a running kilt: http://www.runningkilts.com. (I’m disappointed to report that the running kilt isn’t commonly worn commando-style. Oh, and, why a kilt for running, you ask? To reduce chafing on long distance runs, of course.)

Yes, nowadays, there’s a kilt for every occasion. Check out the utilikilt: http://www.utilikilts.com, for some interesting photos. And don’t miss their mock-u-mercials to see videos of kilt-wearers in action.

Apparently, there are even kilt-wearers’ conventions. Aforementioned friend and her husband went to one and reported to me many interesting stories about the experience. Imagine a whole convention full of guys in kilts. Now imagine if that convention took place at the same time and in the same hotel as the Romance Writers of America conference.

Why do some men love kilts? Any devoted skirt wearer should know the answer to that question. They’re more comfortable, for one thing. Less confining. Not to mention ease of access… There must also be the appeal of feeling so at ease with one’s masculinity that putting on a skirt—er, I mean, kilt–isn’t at all threatening. Rather the opposite, it’s freeing.

One side note—it wasn’t easy finding an appropriate photo to accompany this blog post. Perhaps I should have dug up some historical romance cover art. But Google images? Try searching “men in kilts” and you’ll get a bunch of pictures that are:

A. ridiculous
B. even more ridiculous
C. weird
D. silly
E. all off the above

In a few weeks, I’m going to Scotland, home of the kilt. I will report back my findings. I will also take pictures.

How do you feel about men in kilts? Do you think your guy would wear one in public? How about other items of clothing that many deem feminine? The man purse, for instance? I personally am launching a campaign to get more men in high heels, makeup, and complicated hairdos, because I think we should all share the pain equally.

So many wonderful things came out of the television show Friends, but among the most memorable was “the list.” Remember Ross’s laminated card of celebrities, should he meet them, that he would be able to have sex with them with no guilt or recriminations? What always struck me as funny was that it was laminated. A permanent list. How can someone do that? Mine is always changing.

For several years, I had the “two Hughs” at the top — Grant and Jackman (though Grant fell in and out of grace on the list, but his performance in Love, Actually kept landing him a spot even after I kicked him off…). Our own Leslie Kelly has been fortunate enough to actually meet THE Hugh, so we can completely understand why she would have him on her list. Meeting in person would have to clinch it!

The only constant on my list is Pierce Brosnan. I’ve loved him since Remington Steele. The man has looks, talent, smarts, social conscience, class… the whole package. I think I can safely say he will never be off my list (well, as long as he never sticks with that terrible scruffy facial hair, etc — that was bad). I’m sure he’s relieved to know this.

My recent list has included Enrico Colantoni, whom I enjoyed in Just Shoot Me, but he became listworthy in Veronica Mars (it was the Sheriff’s uniform). Also, Tim Roth, though I have to say I think it’s more Roth’s character Cal Lightman on the new show Lie to Me whom I find attractive.

I also have to include Tony Head. I love Angel and Spike, but I would have taken Giles over both of them, any day. I just discovered Jeremy Renner (Jason) and Ian Kahn (Davis) from The Unusuals. There has to be room for them on the list; they could probably bump the fictional Cal Lightman.

As you can see, my list is always a work in progress. You can also guess why most of my heroes, almost all, are dark-haired.

Who is on your list? Could you have it laminated or are you fickle like me? Share, and I’ll pick a winner to receive a cute mini-tote I made. There might even be a book inside.