How paranois are you?

If you’ve ever wondered how apparently sensible women get victimized by strangers they allow in their homes or near their cars–assaulted, mugged, robbed at gunpoint–here’s a personal story that might offer some insight–or make me look like an idiot.

First off, you need to know that I’m not a stupid or foolish person. I don’t take unnecessary risks. When I walk across a dark parking lot, I keep my keys between my knuckles and stay alert. I lock my car door as soon as I get inside. If a situation feels iffy, I leave. I’ve even been to a self-defense workshop. I know that if an attacker points a gun at me and tells me to get in his car, I’m far safer running away. The chances he’ll even hit me are much lower than my chances of being hurt or killed once I climb into his car.

That said, here’s the story. One evening, I was alone in our house in our very safe neighborhood and there was a knock at the door.

Thinking my son had left without his house key, I headed for the door in my thick terrycloth robe. Our front door has windows on either side, so callers can see you standing there.

At the door was a man I didn’t recognize. He waved in a friendly way, said something I couldn’t hear.

Now what? Do I open the door or back away, behaving as if I think he’s a serial killer. He was likely one of my husband’s cyclist friends here to pick up a logo jersey my husband had ordered for the people in his club. How embarrassing if I treated him like an axe murderer, right?

Just before I opened the door, I looked him over and concluded, “I can take him.” He was short and thin and I’m physically fit. Can you believe that?

He did turn out to be a bicycle buddy, but my husband was horrified when I told him what I’d done. It sounded really bad, even to me.

Tell me you can understand how this happened, please.

I got the vibe this guy was harmless, so I opened the door–just a little ways, of course, thinking I could slam it if something was off.

But I can see dozens of scenarios where robbers or rapists or murderers could seem just as harmless and friendly, asking to use the phone or for help lifting something into their van or for directions. Ted Bundy used a cane to solicit help from sympathetic females, after all.

My point is that we’re all vulnerable to attack in some way. My inclination is to trust my instincts, to not expect the worst of people. I’m not sure I want to live in a world where I won’t answer the door unless I’ve seen photo ID and run a security check on my caller.

On the other hand, you can’t be too careful, right?

What are your thoughts on safety precautions and paranoia? Any experiences similar to mine?

I’ve since concluded that next time I’ll yell through the door (almost impossible to hear, by the way) and not open unless I like what I manage to hear, no matter how embarrassing it is to turn away our new neighbor wanting to get to know the people next door.
Best,
Dawn Atkins
www.dawnatkins.com
HOME FOR CHRISTMAS, HQ SuperRomance, 22/10