Then, even more ominously, my cell phone began to ring. “Okay, okay,” I muttered, scrambling out of bed and hurtling through the dark towards my handbag. I tried to open the cat, instead. Needless to say, the cat did not appreciate my actions.

At last I retrieved the phone from under a mountain of receipts, gum wrappers, grocery lists and stale candies escaped from their wrappers. I squinted blearily at the number, and determined that it was a dear friend’s. I called back.

It was not my friend who answered, but her husband. “I’m leaving Jane,” he announced. (Not her real name.)“Will you call the house again in ten minutes so that she has someone to talk to?

Huh? Evidently he wasn’t done destroying her world, and needed a few more minutes. 

The next day, he put my practically suicidal friend on a plane to come see me . . . evidently he didn’t want to deal with the fallout. Nice. 

Let me tell you, it is difficult to write romantic comedy when one has a raging, sobbing, suicidal man-hater in one’s guest bedroom. Yet these are sometimes the challenges of a romance writer’s life, since real men don’t always behave like heroes.

Here’s a sample. 

Friend: “I’m going to Bobbitt him!”

Me: “Oh. Um. Good idea . . . now where was I in that steamy sex scene? Noooo. It won’t work in the absence of a certain organ. And now all I can picture in my mind is a sort of bloody stump. Thank you, Jane. More wine?”

Friend: “Romance was invented to fool women into a lifetime of domestic slavery!”

Me, typing away: “Yes, indeed. I couldn’t agree more. Now . . . how am I going to structure this happily-ever-after scene? Dang. All I can see on the page is my formerly chic heroine, dressed like a slattern with hairy legs and pink foam curlers in her hair. She’s screaming like a fishwife at the hero while opening a can of spam. More chocolate, Jane?” 

Friend: I’m going to kill myself!

Me: “Give me that knife, Jane. I don’t mean to sound callous, but I have to write 15 pages today, and I simply don’t have time to clean gallons of  your blood off my kitchen floor. Do you know how hard it will be to get it out of the grout? And really, it will be very distracting if you haunt me during revisions . . .” 

Yes, I’m being facetious. No, I didn’t get any writing done during poor Jane’s visit. She’s doing better, by the way. And somehow I met my deadline—though I’m glad that I won’t be a fly on my editor’s computer when she reads the draft!

Karen Kendall   

standing at the precipice?

But I think there’s more to the unique appeal of Blaze tales than just steam. Don’t get me wrong, I’m certain we all enjoy the sizzle factor. Today, however, we’re going to dig deeper to see what it is that sends us to the shelves for a sexy story.

Sense of possibility – I like the idea that a sexy story has the “will she, won’t she” dynamic at work. By that, I kind of mean sexual tension, but in a more general way, there is a sensation of standing at the edge of a big ravine for our heroines. Will they cross that line and take a risk? When? We know they will sooner or later… the books promise that they’ll take that gamble. And it’s not just a gamble on romance. There is a bit of physical speculation that goes on, too. I think we enjoy this sense of “when anything is possible” for our heroines. But perhaps because it ties in to my next thought for why we love Blaze….

Sense of power – We like the adrenaline rush of that first love scene and the empowerment it gives the heroine. Now, I know that the sex is going to complicate her life in a big way. But side by side with the conflict is the realization that sex is a heady brew that gives the heroine a rush of “hoo-yah,” so to speak. Let’s set aside being P.C. for a minute and just admit that the headrush that comes with amazing sex is intoxicating. The idea that it can happen again is potent. And while sex makes us vulnerable on the one hand, it also makes us feel powerful on the other because we’re not the only ones feeling the heat.

Remember when? – We’re not just getting caught up in the hero and heroine’s romance when we read a Blaze. I believe there’s also a healthy dose of comingling our own memories of falling in love every time we pick up a romance. Is it just me, or isn’t all that heart pounding anticipation a fun cue to bring back your days of falling in love (or pre-love lust)? I think we savor those reminds of what it felt like to lose your heart completely to someone. And for readers who haven’t found “The One” yet, I think the books create a great vision of what the right partner could be like.

***So tell me this… as I try to think about the Blaze reader, I’d be curious to know what you’re reading when you’re not reading Blaze? Are you enjoying another series line? Reading sexy romance from other authors? Knee deep in non -fiction? Share with me on the boards today and I’ll give away a copy of my new 2-in-1 with Rhonda Nelson, 1-900-LOVER and Silk Confessions, to one random poster.

And just like sex from a personal standpoint – you wonder sometimes if you still… ahem… have what it takes. I mean, I’ve written a lot of Blazes. I occasionally panic at the thought—what if I’m all Blazed out? What if I’ve lost touch with what is sexy after writing so many love scenes over the years?

But a fun scene that I wrote a few weeks ago helped to reassure me. It wasn’t even for a Blaze. It was for a Harlequin Historical Undone- another place where I need to be sure to deliver an appropriate level of steam. The stories are short – about fifteen thousand words- which is about the same length as a Blaze Encounters story if there are 4 novellas in the book. Anyhow, the story was shorter and that means I have to work fast to build characters, conflict and steamy situations.

I got to work on the characters, putting them in close proximity (a must in a short length story) to get things jump started fast. The hero is a strong Alpha type and he needs to marry. Heroine is intimidated by his reputation and put off by his arrogance. She really won’t give him a chance and she wants no part of marriage to him. He figures he won’t marry her – save them both the trouble—but he thinks maybe seducing her might be a good idea just so she knows what she’s missing out on. So how does he seduce her when she won’t get anywhere near him? Anonymously, of course. In the dark. When she thinks he’s someone else.

Oh, did I have fun with this. I didn’t realize how sexy it would be until I was mid way into the scene and had to break out the fan. Not only did these characters remind me I wasn’t even close to “Blazing out,” as I’d occasionally feared. Their love scene helped me remember that’s where the real sexiness comes from in any love scene. Not the scenario. Not the body parts. Although both of those contribute to the overall sizzle. But at the end of the day, it’s the characters that make any love scene. Their hunger for each other. Their unique feelings for each other at that given moment. The way they relate.

I think it was the short format of the story that helped me really focus in and feel the epiphany. With just fifteen thousand words to tell your story, you have to be really efficient. And even without a lot of build up or backstory, without a subplot or a side kick, the love scene really stood out. And it worked. In fact, it was so fun, I might just go work on another…

***Best kiss? Best sexy banter? Best almost-love scene? What steamy scene have you read recently that’s really stuck in your mind? I’ve got an advance copy of my Harlequin Showcase book with Rhonda Nelson containing 1-900-LOVER and Silk Confessions for one random poster.

Writing good sex isn’t easy, and it intimidates a lot of new writers. I assume we all know the sex should be relevant to the story–and that there should BE a story–and the plot, so what I am talking about here, is how to best approach the actual writing of sex itself (just to be clear). So I thought I would see what advice was out there for writing sex.

One of the most available and reproduced articles I found was this one, by Steve Almond, who offers 12 “rules” for writing sex. I liked all of them except rules 6 and 9, which I didn’t agree with at all. People’s sexual experience is wide and varied — we simply can’t make these assumptions about how fast climax happens, or slow, or if it happens at all. And we should consider all three scenarios when we’re writing sex.

I also disagree with him on not “using the rude words” — and in fact, I don’t find sexual words rude. I like to use all the words at my disposal, and many times my characters like using them, too. And maybe his characters would never talk to each other during sex, or announce their pleasure, what they like, or what they want, but that doesn’t mean that’s a general rule. Lots of people love dirty talk — it’s the basis of an entire phone sex industry, right?

Another resource is an entire book on the subject, Elizabeth Benedict’s The Joy of Writing Sex, and it gets some good reviews online, though I haven’t read it, but it looks like it might be a good resource for those looking for advice on writing sex. If anyone has read it, please let us know what you think.

This is also a fun discussion, if you have time to read through it.

I’ve always thought that the key thing to keep in mind if you are writing sex is that everyone’s sexual experiences are different, and in that difference, you have a broad range of what can happen. No two people ever have sex or think about sex in the same way, and that gives writers a lot to work with. There are no limits — almost.

Here is my own list of tips for writing sex:

1) Beware of the “ick factor.” In general, you can assume anything dangerous, violent, insulting or demented, anything which would make most reasonable, open-minded people back away, will qualify as “ick.”

2) Beware of being too tame. Keeping the “ick” factor in mind, don’t be afraid of the kink, and use whatever words you need to make it happen.

3) Make sure the sex in your book is true to the character having it, as you have described them. If they are experienced or a virgin, or have various kinds of backstories, make sure the sex is consistent.

4) Beware of falling into a rut. Characters in different books should have their own sex lives, not the same sex as characters in the last three books. What do these people like? what makes them unique?

5) Switch it up. Use different locations, positions, toys, kinds of sex, etc. Have your characters explore and surprise each other. If you don’t know about something, do your research. (Online, or otherwise, it’s up to you).

6) Have fun! Don’t be afraid of the humorous, awkward, or sticky moment in a book. On this note, make sure your logistics work, be clear in your physical descriptions, i.e., This Side Up, etc.

7) Don’t make a public service announcement out of your sex scene. i.e., birth control, STDs. Smart characters will act responsibly, and should, but there are a lot of ways to work around this without dampening passion or spontaneity.

8 ) Be clear on what the sex is about. Even if it’s not about love, be aware what emotions are in play. For more on this, I wrote this blog on Sexual Motivation that people seemed to like.

9) Remember (and this comes in handy when people mistake your characters’ sex lives for YOURS), This is about your characters, not you. Once an editor wrote me a line edit “Is this really sexy?” I thought about it, and could only say, “It is for her.” To me, the heroine was clearly enjoying herself. Readers seemed to agree.

10) What do you find sexy? If you can communicate that, it will probably be sexy for your readers, too. Likewise, don’t write anything you are uncomfortable with, because once it’s on that page, it’s there for good.

So what would you add to the list, as a reader or writer? What makes the sex really great to read, and to write? What have been some of your favorite sexual moments in books? Share your ideas, thoughts, and I’ll send out a book to two lucky winners at the end of the day.

1) We can never say “Not tonight honey, I have a headache.”

There comes a time in every romance writer’s life when she doesn’t feel like writing a love scene. Maybe her kids are ill and writing a love scene is the last thing on her mind. Or maybe she just had a fight with her significant other and there’s a bit of anger projected onto her fictional hero. But when you’re a Blaze author, writing a fade-to-black love scene simply isn’t an option. You’ve got to be ready to sizzle at all times.

2) We’re the resident sex experts.

Now at first, this is kind of fun. When you become a Blaze author, your friends and family all try to hide their surprise that you write “those books”—the ones with the sexy-as-hell covers your mother doesn’t admit she’s ever read. But eventually, being the local sexpert will land you in embarrassing situations. Your newspaper boy winks at you even though he’s barely reached puberty. Your neighbor reveals an acrobatic event in her bedroom the night before and offers more details in case you’d like some ideas for your next book. Men older than your father will guffaw with lecherous glee to learn what you write and ask if you want any pointers. Umm… no.

3) We’re the bad girls.

While the men in a Blaze author’s life are busy suggesting they’d be happy to supply inspiration for future projects, there is another population of friends and family who can be less enthusiastic. Non-romance reading buds steer their impressionable children away from our bookcases full of splashy covers. Quasi-helpful siblings read our books while hiding them behind copies of National Geographic. A few utterly non-helpful friends hide our autographed labors of love all together, unwilling to admit they like racy romance.

Still, I wouldn’t trade being a Blaze author for the world. A Psychology Today study assures us that readers of romance make love with their partners 74% more often than non-romance readers. So I’d like to think I’ve had a hand in making the world a happier place through my stories. And maybe I’m deluding myself, but I hope even those friends who are hiding my book covers are kicking their love lives up a notch the night after a sexy Blaze read.

So razz me all you want. Any way you look at it… you’re welcome. (L)

***
Whether you’re a reader or a writer of hot romance, I’ll bet there are people in your life who give you a hard time about liking “those books.” What’s your response?