As I have mentioned more than once before, I love TV. I’ve been a big fan since I was a kid, and I still am. One of the fun things about watching TV as a writer is thinking what I would do differently if I were able to write the episodes of the shows I love – how would I have done it?

This summer, during an anniversary blog event for Blaze, some of us wrote blog posts that did just that – rewrote some of our favorite TV and movies as Blaze. Unfortunately, a technical glitch kept mine from appearing, so Brenda graciously allowed me to post it now for a regular Blaze post (thanks, Brenda!).

Below is my entry for “It Would Have Been Better As A Blaze” and I’ll pose this question for conversation: which TV show would you like to get your hands on if you had the power to change it? and what would you switch up? Post your answer, and next week I will send out a backlist book and a little prezzie from Florida to one winner. Note: If you have not watched Justified at all, there are Season 1/2 spoilers in the post below.

Have fun!
Sam
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It would have been better as a Blaze… Justified

I feel almost sacrilegious saying Justified could be better in any way whatsoever – the show is amazing — but as a Blaze author, I can’t help taking my favorite TV shows and playing “what if?” especially given some of the recent turns in Season 2 of Justified. One of my favorite parts of Justified in the second season was the bad boy/sorta bad girl attraction between Boyd and Ava, but what about Raylan? His love life in season 2 really needs a Blaze rewrite, in my view.

If I were to rewrite Justified as a Blaze, I would go back to Season 1 and I would definitely NOT have had Raylan sleeping with Winona when he was still (sort of) with Ava, and I most definitely would not have had Winona end up pregnant in Season 2! For me, that’s where our hero, Raylan, takes a turn away from being the sexy hero I want him to be.

To correct this error, I would rewrite the part of season two where Raylan meets the fiery, red-headed bombshell representing Black Pike mining company, Carol Johnson. These two have perfect Blaze chemistry, in my opinion. Raylan doesn’t like her or the company she works for. Still, in my version of the show, he takes her up on her sexy offer to go to bed. For Raylan, it’s an ego-soothing roll in the hay after finding out Ava is now with Boyd. For Carol, it’s just a little fun – or so they both think (classic Blaze!). Carol, with her life in danger from the locals who want the mining company out, is capable of taking care of herself, but doesn’t mind if Raylan sticks very close. Carol is definitely a Blaze heroine.

Of course, their dangerous situation intensifies the hot attraction they share, but they also come from two different worlds. How could they ever be together? Carol would be the last woman Raylan could imagine falling in love with; she’s polished, corporate, professional — and she’s definitely not the kind of woman to live in a place like Harlan. This is clear when he goes to talk to her to tells her how he feels –but she’s already gone. Raylan figures he’ll never see her again –but then, her company decides to make Carol the permanent, on-site mining rep.

Raylan can’t easily forgive her for walking away, but will they be able to resist each other? Probably not. This would be just the beginning of a very hot Justified season that I think would definitely have been better as a Blaze!

I wanted to be clever, I really did. But the truth is, it’s ninety degrees out this week, I just got through an intense labor with my alter ego’s latest book, and I’ve got less than two weeks before I’m officially on vacation. My brain has checked out. Way out. So instead of a sparkling new post, I thought I’d share some gently recycled wisdom from the Super Lucky #1 Fun Blog (apologies if you’re one of the three people who follow it). But without further ado, eleven things Top Model taught me about writing…

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This also works for Project Runway, Top Chef, and plenty of other creative contest-based reality shows. I’m talking about writer-as-contender. Whether you’re after a contest final, a contract, an agent, or a good review, they way you pursue the coveted and finite prizes of this industry matters. Here’s what shows like Top Model have taught me:

1. Everyone has an off week. Even the stand-out talent on any of those weekly whittle-down shows gets a lousy critique or two. As long as the judges know you’ve got potential and want to see more, one missed target isn’t enough to sink you.

2. The judges want to be wowed. Most judges—and indeed editors, agents, contest entry readers, reviewers—don’t get off on ripping people apart. A toxic few may, which is unfortunate, but the professionals don’t, I promise you. They’d far rather be delighted than disappointed.

3. Be yourself. This comes up constantly on those creative shows—know who you are and play to your strengths. Don’t try be someone else, even if you love their work, and don’t just go through the motions of what you think a writer does. Don’t just pose. A genuine weirdo is infinitely more charismatic than a soulless imitator.

4. Be a pro. Be humble, but not self-deprecating to a point where people cringe. Believe in your work, but not to a point where you’re telling the judges they don’t know what they’re talking about. Always be gracious, sincere, and attentive, but unafraid to admit politely that you disagree.

5. Be emotional. You know all those boring, wooden, flat, cold girls who get sent home at the start of any Top Model cycle? Don’t confuse strength and poise with bottling emotions. Self-control is good. Repression is not. Unless you want to deliver stiff, lifeless, forced work, don’t be afraid to feel.

6. But don’t be a psycho. Like a shaken soda, intense sensations like anger, jealousy, distrust, and betrayal need to be allowed to settle before they’re uncapped. Nothing undermines professionalism quicker than a reactionary outburst, fight-picking, retaliation, or passive-aggressive gossip or sabotage.

7. Be a good housemate. Your fellow writers are many things; your peers, your friends, your colleagues, your competition, your connections, your future collaborators. Friendships are invaluable in this brutal business, but respect professionalism. If you’re tempted to gossip or blow off some steam, never take it for granted that no one else is listening. Snark isn’t the same as wit, and as good as it might feel in the moment, it doesn’t flatter you. If you’re tempted to vent online, ask yourself, “Would I put this in a public post?” It’s the interwebs, people. The cameras are always rolling. Never forget—the reunion show’s got clips.

8. Accept defeat gracefully. If you get voted off (a contest loss, a rejection, a shitty review) take it like a pro. If appropriate, thank the judges for their time and interest, and exit with a smile. Last impressions count, too, so leave a pleasant taste in their mouths. It’s okay if you’re faking it for the sake of dignity—grace doesn’t have to feel good.

9. Triumph just as gracefully. If your fellow contestants are heartbroken, don’t do a touchdown dance at the podium. Own and celebrate your happiness, but again—dignity.

10. Tabloids are a bitch. On the grand scale of a national reality show, no matter how popular a contestant is, for every ten fans, every ten flattering gossipy blog posts about them, there will be a certain percentage of cruel ones. The same goes for reviews. No one—no author or genre or book or voice or plot—can please everyone. Not even close. And not your job. And sad as it is, some people are naturally, toxically contrary, and will make it a point to hate things that others praise. They don’t matter—dodge them like turds on a hot sidewalk. For the rest, know yourself and what you’re feeling, and if you’re going to click on an editor or agent’s e-mail or a review link, do so when you know you’re in a frame of mind to handle it, good news or bad.

11. The show ends, but the job doesn’t. No triumphant high or sting of defeat lasts forever. Take heart if you struggled and came up short, because one set-back is just that—one set-back. You didn’t final in the Golden Heart, but a year from now, who’ll care? You still get to write, and isn’t that what you love? What’s that you say? You won the Golden Heart? Well, bask in that excitement and take your bows, savor but don’t wallow, because the glow is joyous but fleeting. Careers grow or fizzle well after the show’s finale airs. When the newness and attention of a triumph wanes, what you do, alone in front of your keyboard, is what really matters. So make damn sure you love it.

I don’t know about you, but I need more laughter in my life. This hasn’t usually been a problem for me, but 2010 was a year of so many ups and downs, that this year I made having more fun one of my goals. I posted that for all the world to see last month on this blog. But more than anything I want to laugh hard at least once a day. My doctor says it’s good for you.

As I write this I’m out in LA/Pasadena at the TV Critics Press Tour. That’s where we view all the new shows and talk to the actors/writers/producers about their creation. Over a two-week period we cover cable and broadcast networks and it’s a pretty crazy time. But what I like about this year is that there are some comedies coming up that made me laugh out loud.

The one that made me laugh the hardest was “Mr. Sunshine” with Matthew Perry and Allison Janney. There’s a scene in the pilot that made me laugh so hard I couldn’t breath. I thought maybe it was just me, but both of my sons laughed just as hard. I hope the show continues to be funny and if you want to check it out, it debuts Wednesday, Feb. 9, at 9:30 ET.

Another new comedy that made me laugh is “Traffic Lights” (Fox, Tuesday, Feb. 8, 9 p.m.) This kind of show isn’t one I normally would pay attention to, but there’s something quite delightful about the combination of actors/writers and story telling in this one. I’ve seen a couple of episodes and I’ve laughed a lot. I think the title is probably the worst one ever for a comedy, but it makes me laugh so it’s a forgivable mistake.

The movie that made me laugh the hardest last year, and yes I’m a little embarrassed to say this, “Get Him to the Greek.” The combination of Russell Brand and Jonah Hill was one of the best comedy pairings I’ve seen in a long time. If you don’t mind rude, crude humor, this movie will make you pass out from laughter. I’m thinking about putting it on my iPhone so I can watching wherever I am in the world.

The book that made me laugh the hardest in 2010 was “Red-Headed Stepchild” by my friend Jaye Wells. That girl can tell a story and she doesn’t with wicked brand of humor and paranormal fun.

My favorite website for laugh-out-loud fun is http://damnyouautocorrect.com/ Now be warned, many of the text can be crude. But when I need a quick pick me up this is where I go.

Share with me some of the things that make you laugh whether it’s books, TV, Movies or websites. Let’s all have a good laugh to start the New Year off right!

Helloooo, Mr. Advertiser Man? Yeah, you in the suit pitching your next bright idea for a TV commercial–the one that includes a woman lounging by a swimming pool and up walks some guy you think is our idea of the perfect romance hero? Yeah, that one. Before you go too far with that, I’d like to show you something. If you’ll just come with me, it will only take a second. It’s this way, down the hall and around the corner. Yeah, here it is. It’s the 21st century.

Huh? No, it’s not new. We’ve all been here for about a decade now. Yeah. And you’ll see a few things have changed. Namely, that guy you’re assuming is our romance hero? He looks nothing like this:

Nope, I’m sure. If you were to stroll through the romance aisle in the book store or–here’s an idea–actually talk to a woman who reads romance? You’d discover this guy was fashionable about….oh….thirty years ago.

Yeah, really. Equating him to our fantasy man is about as appropriate as casting these guys as dreamy rock stars:

Yep. That was the 80′s. It’s 2009 now. Why don’t you join us?

If it’s a romance hero you’re looking for, may I suggest someone like this?

I literally stared at this picture for 4 months while writing my latest Blaze. He was the inspiration for my hero. It’s Jon Hamm, but I called him Marc Strauss. Nope, not Damien or Sebastian or Jaque-Phillipe. Just Marc with a “c”. And believe it or not, you’ll find guys like this on lots and lots of romance novel covers. We love men in suits, clean cut guys with jobs and maybe a really nice car. Yeah, traveling by schooner is kinda out these days.

Bare-chested heroes riding in on white horses, you ask? Sure, we love horses and love men riding in on them, and no, shirts aren’t required. But today they’d look a little more like this:

Firemen are also pretty hot. We’ve been lusting over them for about 10 years now. Yep. What’s that? No, I’ve got no idea where you’ve been. It’s actually kinda old news, really.

You could do a Top Gun military man too. We’d prefer one of those Navy Seals that actually captures the pirates instead of the pirate himself.

Heck, we’re easy. You can even do a Speedo as long as he looks like this:

Just stop with the billowing white blouses buttoned down to the navel. Even women don’t wear those anymore. And if a man’s going to unbutton his shirt that far, we’d just as soon he take it off. Oh, and if anyone in the room utters the word “mullet” please fire them on the spot and send them to the nearest Motley Cruefest. They seriously shouldn’t be in the business of selling anything to women–or grown-up men, for that matter.

So, ladies, while we have Mr. Advertiser Man’s attention, is there anything else you’d like to add to this public service announcement? Better heroes you’d like to see in their ads instead of the Fabio-cut-outs they’re still throwing at us? Husbands who aren’t complete imbeciles jumping up and down in front of the Glade air freshener trying to get it to spritz?

What type of hero would get you to drop the remote, run to the store and buy the product he’s selling?